July 2014 & parting Korea… the drawn-out goodbye.


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Jam won pool day with Bri. I love the blue sky, clouds, and warm weather!

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Bobby’s slip and slide rooftop birthday party at Southside Parlor with fantastic people.

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Citrus beer and philly cheese steak with french onion soup (kind of) reminds me of USA.

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I was honored to cheer on Andra’s hockey team! I forgot how much I enjoyed watching hockey, especially in a very cool arena while it was sweltering outside.

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Birthday dinner at Petras Middle Eastern restaurant in Itaewon. Thank you for joining friends 🙂

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Drinks upon drinks upon drankkkksss. Bday festivities.

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Below: Meow earring birthday present from my lovely friend, Ashly Moore.

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Ellie cat’s birthday brunch at Flying Pan in Itaewon. Delicious!

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Followed by cute outside-indoors-themed cafe for caffeine.

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Below: Only in Korea will you find a couple come in, sit down, take out huge-lens cameras and start photographing each other from across the table. Bizarre, but cute.

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At the National Museum of Korea with Yoobin. The gardens were gorgeous and the exhibits fascinating.

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Above: Kimchi Bossam- my first time trying boiled pork with spicy kimchi radish. So ambrosial. Below: Bingsu, but no pat 😦 Pat is the word for red bean. Red bean flavor is my favorite. I ordered incorrectly. Opps!

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A morning walking tour after my emergency passport renewal. I woke up one morning, two weeks away from leaving for Taiwan, and discovered my passport had expired!

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Protesters in Korea sit peacefully, dance and sing- much different than in USA.

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My eccentric, wonderful, creative student: Theo Puff.

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Meanwhile, in Hopkins, MN, Spencer is starting to make himself at home with the new family!

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He loves to watch the bunny families in my mom’s gardens.

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Japjae & spicy kimchi lunch in Insadong with Chantal.

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Below: the customary practical joke in Korea- to poke people in the butt hole. Both holy and wholly awkward, ’tis true.

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Patbingsu dessert.

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…followed by tea at a traditional Chinese tea house in Insadong with Jooyea and Chantal- fierce feministing and hilarity ensued.

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My last day with my kiddos. Tears were plentiful.

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I brought the Korean staff cake for my last day as a small thank you to their amazing hard work all year long… keeping us Americans/Canadians safe, happy, and mildly aware 🙂

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And then we forced the kids to suck on sour warhead candies for the first time in their lives. Their reactions are priceless!

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Saying goodbye to these little cuties was rough! Kiki and Max were my kitties away from home.

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My last meal before heading to Taiwan for 8 days- Uzbekistan food! So scrumptious and unique.

 

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After returning from Taiwan, my ‘last meal’ was jjim dak- melt off the bone beef and veggies, followed by patbingsu for dessert!

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The following day, I headed to my favorite part of town- Insadong- for bossom (boiled pork with spicy radish)

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19 Months of Status Updates

January 19, 2013 near Minneapolis, MN, United States

I’m moving to South Korea today!

January 21, 2013

I made it to Korea! The trip was not without drama, but so far I love the city and I am learning something new everywhere I turn. Blog post to come shortly. Again, thank you to all of those who have been reaching out and continue to support me. Sending love to USA and to my climbable chocolate bear who continues to be my biggest support. — with Chris Mungin.

January 22, 2013

My boyfriend has hot lips and a great personality — with Chris Mungin.

January 25, 2013 near Seoul

So this lil tech challenged blonde is now teaching two Ipad critical thinking current issue classes! Prep work, prep work, prep work!!!

January 26, 2013 near Seoul

Such a great day! Skyped home, Hello Kitty Cafe with cousin and friends, cat-petting cafe, school supply shopping (lots of Hello Kitty stickers purchased), followed by night time Dr. Fish pedicure-like procedure (the fish eat all the dead skin off your feet). I’m loving the Seoul life

January 27, 2013

Only in Seoul: A world famous pastry chef/instructor comes and sits next to me at a coffee shop, asks to see my facebook, shows me hers and then gives me a tour of her pastry kitchen and things she is working on for a world competition!!! OMG Ahhhmazzing. Don’t worry Cbear, she agreed to give you a tour too when you come in April! — with Chris Mungin.

January 27, 2013 near Seoul

It’s an hour before my class begins and I am starting to freak out!?! I hope it goes well. I am all moved into my apartment, but no internet yet so it might be a few days before I send out skype requests for my schedule. Still thinking of you loved ones.

January 28, 2013

Best first day of work I have ever had thanks to high-achieving brilliant students and an extremely supportive fun peer group/supervisor. Needless to say, I am kind of loving this teaching gig so far.

January 28, 2013 near Seoul

Korean family-run english-speaking coffee shop that plays 90s and early 00s R&B…. Ummmm YES PLEASE! Blessed

January 29, 2013 near Seoul

Great News!! I have internet in my apartment!!

Weird News: It was installed this morning while I was passed out shirtless in my bed after way too much wine last night. I did not even know that someone had been in my room…. awk.

January 29, 2013 near Seoul

English words my 10 year old students are reading in their SECOND language that I never knew: phragmite, transom, gunnel.

February 7, 2013

A couple thoughts after polishing off 5 bottles of wine with my coworkers… 1. As a white woman with inherent privilage I am very good at hailing cabs 2. Girl Generation is the South Korean version of Spice Girls and they rock 3. I am blessed with amazing fun different traveled coworkers who make me belly laugh 4. And finally… its been about six years since I had KFC and at least one month since any fried food. I will NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE EAT KFC AGAIN. It never comes up quite the way it went down. Fml lol lovey night. Rowr.

February 8, 2013

Bad News: The bus tickets to Icheon were sold out because of the Korean New Year holiday. So… I do not get to see my awesome cousin Georgia this weekend.

Good News: I booked a bus ticket to see my friend Amber Barcel in Gumi for a Sat/Sunday excursion. AND I am going to see Georgia Adkins next weekend! Traveling back to back weekends to visit with lovely people… exciting

February 12, 2013 via Instagram

A day at the Seoul Art Museum for the Tim Burton exhibit.

February 19, 2013

It makes me so proud to be living and working in Seoul especially after talking to my Grandma on the phone. She said that it is awesome that women of our generation get to do things that she could only dream of. Women of her age were lucky to get out of the house. Thank you to the former generations of strong women who forged these opportunities for me!

February 20, 2013

I drink so much on the weekdays that I can never have a “proper” night out on the weekends. lol fml. I use my weekends for recovery.

February 26, 2013

Frustrated, annoyed, disapointed, sad, and anxious. Ready for tomorrow to be a new day in 2 minutes. Fresh start. Clean slate.

February 27, 2013

I found the cure for a bad day!!

Talk to Tj Ikhena, have a kiwi smoothie, cheap cajun BBQ for dinner and confirmation that tickets are booked! Chris Mungin will be moving to Seoul on 5.5.2013. And my mom will be visiting 5.16.2013!!

March 5, 2013

Yeaaahhhh….. so I have had just about enough of the pre-teen hormone-induced attitude from the young ladies in my class. No. Just say NO to pre-teen drama in the classroom! Smh

March 10, 2013

I would seriously pay at least 100 dollars for Chipotle today. Whenever I am sick I crave my mom and Chipotle…

March 11, 2013

Student: “Teacher, why are all Americans a little bit fat?”

Me: “Well, there are a lot of reasons. One, life style choices like fried foods and driving more than walking. Two, healthy foods are more expensive which is why one sees a lot of weight in less financially stable communities. Three, lack of education.”

Student: “Oh. ok”

Me: “It’s ok. I don’t feel bad. I know I am fat compared to Koreans.”

Student: “But you are only a little bit fat teacher. And you are bigger here than in America. When I googled fat people, many 500-pound Americans showed up.”

Me: Chuckling to myself with relief… “Thank god I am only a little bit fat, right?”

Student: Yep.

Priceless. LOL. FML. Life in Korea

March 14, 2013

For probably only the 4th time in my life, I have completely lost my voice. Completely cray cray!

March 15, 2013

My St. Paddy’s day curse continues! I am even more sick than yesterday and I am still completely without a voice Wine and appetizer night will be rescheduled for next Saturday, March 23. Booo to no talky….

March 16, 2013

Thank you for making my day Christine Shea! She brought this sick little kitten monduguk and Vitamin C drinks! It’s so nice to be cared for, especially when I am so far away from my mom and dad who usually baby me when I am sick

March 16, 2013

A spoon full of 10 dollar penut butter helps the horrible-tasting Korean medicine go down

March 17, 2013

I’m hard core craving corn beef hash that Cbear used to make for me Sunday mornings back in the USA. — with Chris Mungin.

March 19, 2013

After filling in ALL of my report cards, I realize that I did it in the wrong format and the information will not display correctly. FMLLLLLLL. Going to bed moody. Growl.

March 26, 2013

It’s difficult for me to comprehend that a mere 70 years ago, it would not have been legal for Chris and I to wed. My Papa Bear turned 73 this week. I want him to be alive to witness love displayed whenever wherever by whomever with the support of the nation behind them. Everyone should be able to pounce, lick, purrr, and marry the one they love.

April 5, 2013

Soon to be fly and fresh together walking down Seoul streets in our custom Nikes. His and her sweetheart shoes^^ — with Chris Mungin.

April 7, 2013

FOUR weeks from today my Cbear moves to Seoul!! Here are FOUR reasons why I am sooooo excited:

1) We will get to wear matching outfits and show Seoul what fierce biracial coupling is all about.

2) That nasty varmint that Chris calls a beard will finally be taken off his beautiful face.

3) Chris gets to meet all my friends and try tons of tasty food

4) I get my snuggle bunny back… MeeeoooowW! — with Chris Mungin.

April 11, 2013

I love Makgeolli with coworkers, oreos, kitties, spicy food, hot yoga, lake sports, nature, ROK, the color tea rose yellow, Mariah Carey from 1995-2005, red velvet cupcakes, sushi, chipotle, holding Chris Mungin‘s hand, sleeping in, traveling, reading, social justice issues, the beach, and curling my hair.

I HATE HATE HATE Pringles Wild Spice… uGHhhhh why did I eat them. Soooo gross!

April 11, 2013

I FOUND GV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 16, 2013

I’m so excited that I can’t sit still… just got the news yesterday that I was approved for 4.5 weeks off in the summer! Chris Mungin and I are headed to Thailand, Cambodia and Japan!!!! And the planning begins…

April 19, 2013

Just got hugged by an adjumma in a rest stop bathroom… presumably because I am blonde? Lol love the ROK.

April 20, 2013

This temple stay may be one of the top ten coolest adventures of my life.

April 29, 2013

OMG Papa Bear is so frackin’ adorable! Chris Mungin sent me a picture of the new sunglasses he bought today. Pretty sure he doesn’t realize and/or care that they are for sure women’s sunglasses!!

May 1, 2013

Being a teacher makes missing being in school much more bearable. Love my job and life here in the ROK. Rowr.

May 3, 2013

Finished latte, prepped for report cards, and did grading all by 8 am on a Saturday morning… because I’m cool like that.

May 5, 2013

My lover bear is now in Seoul and we are full from a fantastic dinner and drunk off of makgeolli. He has passed out ungodly early with half of his legs dangling off of the bed… lol Korea is not made for Cbear size…

May 6, 2013

Just brought Chris Mungin to Espirit and boy was he a HIT with the kids. They were so curious and terrified at the same time. The children would compete who could get closer to him before running away. They dubbed him many names: giant, dinosaur, basketball player, Shack, and my favorite, only because they look nothing alike, Michael Jordan.

May 10, 2013

I know this is a little late… but I feel very very proud to be a Minnesotan where equality for all expressions of love is slowly becoming a reality

May 12, 2013

I have such a caring partner! He woke up to go get groceries to make me breakfast in bed and then surprised me with the addition of this delicious delight — with Chris Mungin.

May 16, 2013

Flights booked!! July 23rd we fly from Seoul to Siem Reap, Cambodia. From there we bus it to Bangkok. We fly from Bangkok to Chiang Mai to stay on an Elephant reserve. A week later a flight from Chiang Mai to Phuket and a ferry to Phi Phi island. We will return home August 17th. Chris Mungin and I are going to live a real life Trains, Plains and Automobiles

May 16, 2013

My mom arrives in Seoul in 6 hours for her first overseas whirlwind adventure!!

May 24, 2013

Headed to North Korea… — with Chris Mungin and Carly Teng.

May 26, 2013

Well today ends the epic 9 day whirlwind adventure of my mom in Seoul. I am sad to see her leave, but I feel blessed to have had this once in a lifetime experience. Thank you to all of my friends and Cbear for making her feel so welcome^^

June 2, 2013

We are ‘that’ couple today Sweetheart shoes… headed for lunch in Itaewon. Rowr — with Chris Mungin.

June 7, 2013

I could not be more blessed with any other crazy funny intelligent supportive and reliable debauchers than my coworkers. Good night… still can’t believe all of the things that were said and done in front of my boss… awk.

June 16, 2013

I read a lot, yet I rarely ever may facebook recommendations, BUT I read this book in 4.5 hours. I could not put it down. The human rights atrocities in North Korea outlined in this book are happening RIGHT NOW!

“A book without parallel, Escape from Camp 14 is a riveting nightmare that bears witness to the worst inhumanity, an unbearable tragedy magnified by the fact that eh horror continues at this very moment without an end in sight.” -Terry Hong

June 18, 2013

Today is the first time since living in Seoul where I wish I was at home at my parents place in Hopkins, petting Rory, eating Chipotle, and drinking ice tea with Papa Bear. Sigh…

June 25, 2013

Is it sad that I am too exhausted after making my to do list to actually do anything? Le sigh…

June 25, 2013

I just wanted to say sorry to my friends in the USA for being a little disconnected lately. You are in my heart always. I have just been so mentally and physically exhausted lately. I will make it up to you. Promise. Rowr.

July 2, 2013

Sound anti-anxiety recommendations from my coworkers:

1) Learn to accept that the only permanence is impermanence.

2) Me: “…but my heart beats in two places.”

Carly: “Yeah, well, what place are you getting pounced?”

Lol Can’t imagine my life in Korea without them. Rowr. — with John Avaricio Mascardo and Carly Teng.

July 3, 2013

Dear USA,

Happy Birthday! I love you not necessarily for what you are, but the beaconing potential I see you in you and because no matter where my heart beats literally, a figurative half will always resonate in the USA. This is one of only a few 4ths not spent on the lakes of Minnesota, BBQing, and enjoying the sun. Le sigh. For those of you there, please enjoy on my behalf. Sending lots of from Seoul.

July 11, 2013

Whenever I have doubts about whether our stars are aligned or if we are meant be, Chris Mungin always manages to display his brightest qualities. He combats my drunken psycho self, he buys me a hand made lantern that I said I wanted months ago, and he makes me a better human being every day. My muse, my love.

July 11, 2013

If you don’t already know and love Lil Bub, you should!

July 17, 2013

Rookie mistake: Start reading a captivating new novel at 2 am… leading me to go to bed at 4:30 am for the 10th night in a row… leaving only 2/3 of my report cards done that are due in an hour!! Ahhhhhh.

July 21, 2013

Trip to the Philippines booked for Chuseok!! I could get used to this

July 23, 2013

Starting our month-long trek through Cambodia and Thailand today!!

Seoul → Siem Reap → Bangkok → Chiang Mai → Phuket → Phi Phi Island → Phuket → Seoul

July 24, 2013

On our faux honeymoon adventure, we have come up with new pet names: Cocoa Hubs and…

July 24, 2013

Free ‘honeymoon’ upgrade to a suite that is literally 5 times the size of our apartment in Seoul… ummm… duh YES PLEASE^^ I may never want to leave!

August 5, 2013

Siem Reap, Cambodia: 4 spectacular days! Temples, cute English couple friends, pool side, ahhhmazzing honeymoon suite, delicious food, and pedicures.

August 5, 2013

Bangkok, Thailand: 2 horrifyingly traumatizing days Bed bugs, terrible food poisoning, scamming hotel, continuous pleading and begging of store owners like petulant depraved children, gorgeous palace and temple, water bugs, a disturbance with a rude French man and Chris Mungin ate a scorpion!!

August 5, 2013

Chiang Mai, Thailand: 8 wonderfully relaxing and eventful days! Bareback elephant riding and bathing (harder than it looks!), white water rafting through the dense jungle, couples massages, 6 course Thai cooking class, market shoppping and just being high on life ;P

August 5, 2013

Tomorrow we are headed for Ko Phi Phi for 9 days This will be our finest accomodations so far at the wonderful Outrigger Resort… to end our faux honeymoon right^^

August 6, 2013

After 14 hours of traversing from Chiang Mai (plane, layover, plane, taxi, ferry through thunderstorm where I vomited everywhere, mile walk through town, then trucking with a constantly stalling vehicle through the dense jungle, and my continued tummy troubles), we have arrived in paradise

August 14, 2013

OH. MY. GOD. Bill for resort, room service, food and draaanks was 3 times what I expected. From the high life, Chris Mungin and I will be back to rice, broccoli and ramen in no time. It will take us months to pay this off… ahhh

August 14, 2013

I can feel the post-faux-honeymoon blues starting to creep up and latch onto my heart… and we aren’t even home yet- not for another 36 hours (all in trasit). It’s been an amazing, at times sickening (literally lol), interesting, and thrilling journey with Chris Mungin.

August 31, 2013

I can’t wait for the MN state fair to end… the statuses keep breaking my heart! #wishIwasthere #MNrocks #missmyhome

September 1, 2013

Ohhh Carly Teng and Laura Engstrom how I have missed you! Thank you for turning my Sunday frowns upside down Meow

September 11, 2013

My students found a way to include Chris Mungin in their writing!! Aka Mr. Chris, tree, giant, dinosaur, Shaq, Obama or Michael Jordan to the lil kiddos

September 14, 2013

I should NOT have just guzzled that latte at 9 p.m. I will be up until 6 a.m. if you need me! Only 25 hours till we jet off to the Philippines for another whirlwind adventure!!

September 14, 2013

Don’t hate me, but I actually like the Wrecking Ball song.

September 19, 2013

I have traversed 20 + countries, 4.5 continents and yet I just returned home from one of the best vacations of my life to the Philippines! Hiking to remote jungle water falls, massages, snorkeling, walking around the top of a 40-story building with only a harness, scrumptious cheap food, site seeing and excellent company were just some of the highlights. Blog and pictures to come!

September 22, 2013

Corrections upon corrections upon corrections. And more corrections and corrections. My desk is bleeding red ink. How many more hours… aaahhhh. I’m going nuts.

September 28, 2013

Soo… my dad bought a new screw driver this week, which of course he does not need. No present projects and none that I know of on the horizon. Plus he already has two.

Me: “So what are you even screwing these days?”

Papa Bear: Uncontrollable laughter for a good 3 minutes.

September 30, 2013

OMG. OH. MY. GAWWDD!!! Totally annoying white valley girl Oh My God! My best friend of 16 years, Laura Engstrom, has officially booked her tickets and will be spending her Christmas with me in Seoul!!! So excited! Mind blown

October 3, 2013

Apgu+ makgeolli+ meat+ noraebang+ minty menthals= perfection, every time. Meowww

October 6, 2013

I miss my Tan Cookie Carly Teng. Meow.

October 8, 2013

If you want wings, come to Rocky Mountain Tavern in Itaewon tonight for 400 ₩ per wing and to make sexy cat calls to my chocolate bear Chris Mungin! We will be there at 10 pm. MeeooowW

October 12, 2013

Today marks 5 years since the day I lured Cbear to my apartment in Omaha, NE for a faux party that I had arranged with my friends so that I could meet him. Over the years, we have had our ups and downs like any other couple, but what I appreciate about this climbable chocolate bear is his tenacity, communication skills, passion for cooking, and desire to always make me happy. Here’s to 5 more. I love you more and more every day Chris Mungin

October 17, 2013

Meat, makgeoli and bowling near Kyodae for Chris Mungin‘s birthday tonight!!! Come celebrate!

October 29, 2013

Happy National Cat Day!!! The best day of the year

November 5, 2013

“Teacher, what is sex?”… yes, it finally happened in class.

November 7, 2013

A couple bizarre occurrences today…

1) On the subway, I saw a woman pick her eye boogers and then egregiously smear them on the glass.

2) At the post office, I overheard a man with a natural voice that could have doubled as Kermit the Frog.

It is a freaky Thursday here in Seoul…

November 10, 2013

Such a spectacular day in Itaewon with my friend Yoobin Cho!! Ben’s Cookies, a quick hi to Cbear at work, delicious grapefruit tea, followed by dinner with a stranger! A gracious man treated us to bulgogi… yummm ^^

November 10, 2013

RIP my sweet little Rory who was put down this week. After 20 years of having a house of full of kitty love, our family is now catless

November 18, 2013

The first snow each year is unforgettably magical. My students and I squealed with glee as we collectively ran to the window for a glance at the new season. Too bad I didn’t wear a jacket or winter-friendly shoes today…

November 23, 2013

A perfect sweet from my sweetie Chris Mungin

November 26, 2013

My food-based homesickness has been temporarily appeased because I just had the best meal of my LIFE!!!!

A few highlights: smoked salmon sashimi, Brie and fig preserves, froie gras, steamed ox tail, fried spicy sea cucumber, beef roast, quinoa avocado salad, raspberry cheese cake, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and creme brûlée.

OMG!!! It was heaven on many many plates. Sooooo blessed!

December 3, 2013

If I have to disappear from the world for a while, let it be into the often odorous, tattered, yet ever tantalizing, pages of a well-loved library book.

December 5, 2013

RIP Nelson Mandela… a social justice role model, soldier for equality and hero of tolerant patience.

December 8, 2013

My choco bear Chris Mungin is so seductive. I am a lucky woman… rowrrr

December 10, 2013

I set my alarm for 8 am. It is now 11:30 am. My alarm has rung every 5 minutes for the last 2.5 hours. I am almost certain that Chris Mungin is currently plotting my death… especially after he worked 12 hours yesterday. Sorry Cbear!

December 11, 2013

Hold strong MN! I will be back next winter to warm you up. Sending love home from Seoul

December 12, 2013

I am off to Vietnam with my beloved Chris Mungin and my lovah of 16 years Laura Engstrom!! I can’t wait to be reunited with my bestie. I will return Tuesday.

December 12, 2013

Free upgrade to first class with champagne… umm… yes please!! Chris can actually extend his legs fully!

December 15, 2013

Vietnamese. Food. Is. The. Best. Ever!! Oh and our baddass chartered private boat tour and kayaking through Halong Bay was not too shabby either.

December 19, 2013

‘I felt the feelings of how handicapped people are indisposed. When I was in puberty, I felt that I was not a normal person and not special too. I was just an object of ridicule. And I could have chosen the extreme measure of suicide. There was great suffering in my heart, but not on the outside. Now I’m sufficiently satisfied in this life and thankful for my parents.’

-An 11-year-old student’s profound ability for imaginative introspection while writing in his second language

December 21, 2013

Are report cards the bane of my existence or is facebook the bane of the completion of my report cards?? Must. keep. going…

December 24, 2013

Meowy Christmas to everyone abroad and in the USA. Today, I miss the frigid breath-stealing cold of MN, foods and presents in the chaos that is my Grandmother’s house, and most of all, midnight candle light mass.

December 27, 2013

Daaayummm Minnesota. Why so cold? -48 degrees Farenheit in the Twin Cities

December 28, 2013

Me: So what do you think I am passionate about?

Laura Engstrom: Social justice issues and cats… long pause… and education, swimmimg, and being an involved friend.

Sounds about right

December 31, 2013

Goodbye 2013. You were by far the best year of my life!! I moved to Seoul, South Korea with my beloved, made new friends that I am certain to have for life, traveled through 5 countries in Asia, grew professionally, fell in love with Korean kids & food, invested in art, grew closer than ever to Chris Mungin, and rekindled my passionate fuel for reading, writing, and social justice activism. Hello 2014.

January 7

Keep strong in the frozen tundra MN.

January 7

Afternoon A2s… are you ready? Im going to pounce and Im pretty sure you are not going to like it…

January 11

Happy Caturday Korea & USA!! Meow.

January 17

Are you a ‘new window’ person or a ‘new tab’ person? As you might have guessed, Chris Mungin and I are endlessly opposite.

January 17

And the count downs begin: 6 days till the end of winter camp, 41 days till Jeju Island romantic weekend, 49 days till Chris Mungin returns to the USA,14 weeks till the epic return of Carly Teng, and finally, 6 months left for me in this marvelous wonder called Korea.

January 30

Dear adjoshi (older gentleman) casually wearing the pimped out burgundy crush velvet jumpsuit,

I love you. Thank you for making me smile. Robyn

January 31

I can’t wait to go kitty shopping in July!

February 2

Got 3 hours of sleep before a Monday because lover bear Chris Mungin had Chucky nightmares and neither of us could get back to sleep… le sigh. More time for the Kitten Bowl?

February 3

Those awkward moments as a teacher when you are bent over laughing at your own joke and only 30 seconds later realize that you are the only one laughing amidst a sea of blank stares. If you have to explain a joke… it’s no longer funny. Womp. womp.

February 5

I swear to god, if I hear the lyrics to Disney’s Frozen gleefully sung throughout the Espirit halls one more time today… Smh. I seriously don’t even need to see the movie anymore.

February 11

Ohhh my sweet students know me too well. New cat stickers from one of my favorites made my day today!

February 12

That moment when you realize your partner disappoints you so deeply and painfully that the world collapses in around you. Darkness.

February 13

Kids can read you instantly. I didn’t say a thing but my student immediately drew me a broken heart today. I gave him extta hugs.

February 13

Although personal despondence still rages on, the swell of of the storm has passed and I do see light through the clouds. Thank you sincerely for the calls, texts, messages, and comments. Being so far from home, it has meant more than you know. I’m usually more political/cat/feminist/traveler in my postings, so grant me reprieve for my recent despairing flare.

February 13

All I want is KFC mashed potatoes and gravy, fresh squeezed grapefruit juice and to be in my kayak out on lake 26 alone at sunset with my fingers gliding through the cool rippled waves…

February 13

Great job Facebook for finnnallllyyy adding inclusive language for gender preferences!

February 13

How quickly cravings change as cliched progression from devastation to rage emerges. Now I yearn for corn bread, chipotle and a run through 9-mile creek in Hopkins.

February 14

‘It seems difficult enough to consider one’s own triumphs and failures with perfect verity, for it’s no secret that the past proves a most unstable mirror, typically too severe and flattering all at once and never as truth-reflecting as people would like to believe’ -Chang-rae Lee

February 14

I can’t and I won’t reply to everyone’s messages, but I am reading them and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart

February 14

When I run out of my own words, I use the inspired ones of others…

“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

February 14

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Epicurus

February 14

My previous classmate’s sister from the Academy of Holy Angels died tragically and unexpectedly on a crosswalk that many of have taken hundreds of times at a very popular area in Minneapolis. Sending love from South Korea.

February 15

It was a spectacular day for retail and sushi therapy! We are attempting to heal and tentatively rebuild, one morsel of sashimi at a time. Please continue to send warm energy… I feel it!

February 17

The only certainty is uncertainty. 50/50.

February 18

‘Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable’ -Wizard of Oz

February 20

‘The circumstances are not ideal, yet it seems to me that life’s moments don’t have to be so right or not right anymore, so fraught and weighted with value, but just of themselves, what they are.’ -Chang-rae Lee

February 21

Given the recent events in my life, I’ve taken to ‘treating myself.’ If you aren’t familiar with the concept… get familiar.

Side note: yes, I know this solves no real problems.

February 21 · Edited

Sending cozy, warm, hot cocoa wishes of safety to the arctic state, MN. Some of my proudest and fondest memories of the state I love include the ralleying of neighbors to push and dig cars out of the tundra, the communal ‘niceness’ and general bonding that a whiteout induces.

February 27

Jetting off to Jeju Island for a quick trip See you Monday!

February 28

Treat Yo Self continues in Jeju: new silver bow tie ring, prescription sun glasses, swanky pre-professor glasses and scrumptious seafood. Making the best of a rainy day. Enjoying a cherry blossom latte while reading with Cbear.

March 1

Matching couple designer frames and new ring — with Chris Mungin.

March 6

Anyone wanting to hang out with Chris Mungin before he leaves, come out tonight or tomorrow night. The plan for tonight is 11:30 pm Dolce Vita pub in Itaewon… Till dawn. Lol — at Dolce vita.

March 7

TONIGHT, Chris Mungin‘s Final Farewell. Dinner at Brother Brother BBQ near Kyoda (Seoul National University) at 8:30 pm. We will do noraebang and games after (Cards Against Humanity & Catch Phrase). Let me know if you plan to be at the restaurant so I can get a headcount. See you soon. Meow. Call me if you get lost. 010.7714.2514

March 7

Oh. Dear. Higher Being… why oh why did you create a human who could think 2 bottles of soju and 1 bottle of red wine could be a great combination. Spent a good chunk of the night on the floor…. literally.

March 8 · Edited

It’s jimjilbang time. Let’s get nakey! Chris Mungin is excited to wrestle nude with Korean male bush.

March 9 · Edited

Today was one of the most stressful days of the last 14 months of living in Seoul. I almost had a panic attack from feeling trapped in the ceaselessly surging masses and chatter of Seoulites. I couldn’t get a moment alone to think which is what I really needed. Ironically, we spent most of the day at the spa (interesting, but definitely not relaxing). Now I just need a sensory deprivation bubble where I can cry calmly and rock myself in silence.

March 9

After seeing hundreds of naked bodies yesterday at the jimjilbang, I can confidently say there is pure beauty in the human form…

March 11

As I stepped into the apartment that was ours, a weighted waft of pure aloneness hit me with the dual effect of both peace and vacuity. My best friend, superior travel companion, and gossip guy is gone, currently on his flight home. Despite recent hurdles and the continued unknown ahead, I miss his presence dearly.

March 14 · Edited

Sending all my love, hope and peace from Korea, come what may, to the Mungin Family as they gather around their honorable family pillar, Mel. Chris Mungin Kevin Mungin Andre’ Mungin

March 14

Worst idea to get in a cab at rush hour… grrr.

March 14 · Edited

Starting drinks early on Friday night with my couples’ days companion- Christmas, Valentines, White Day- BOOM…trifecta all spent together Ellie Martin

March 14 · Edited

I decided that is has been too long since I had bangs so I drunkenly cut them myself…

March 15

Five skype dates down for the weekend, two more to go. I love reconnecting. Meow.

March 16

My heart leaps for joy when my students use adverbs like ‘surreptitiously’ in their creative writing

March 19

RIP Mel Mungin. I’m sending my wishes for a peaceful gathering in Nebraska today where family and friends can reminisce in shared funny and fond memories. I wish I could be there in a way other than with flowers to say goodbye to an honorable family man…

March 21 · Edited

Drinking apple cider vinegar is so painful. OMG sooo painful!

March 23

Well… I wasn’t as social as I planned to be this weekend, but I did get a lot done: meals for next week, deep cleaned the apartment, restored fung shui to my space, read a book, finished report cards, worked on my blog, had 4 skype dates, caught up on some shows, and enjoyed Sunday ladies walk and dinner

March 24

Mind racing. Please stop for the sake of sleep and efficiency.

March 29

Please someone… anyone call me when you wake up if you have advil or the like. My head feels like it is in a vice!

March 30

“our job is to prepare children to meet adversity well”

“adversity is natural, consistent, and useful”

“until we’re tested, we don’t know what we’re made of… adversity gives us a sense of self”

March 30

Teaching today is going to be mighty interesting given that I lack the necessitating factor… a voice.

March 31

Oh. My. God. The construction… or rather deconstruction of the building a few feet away is the bane of my existence right now. The entire building feels like a gigantic vibrator, but not in a good way. Ugghhhh. I NEED SLEEP. Angry cat.

April 3

Weekly dinner and debate with fabulous people. Meow.

April 4

Glad to know construction continues to grind and vibrate early on the weekend morning… NOT!

April 6

Just dropped some major dolla bills to book my flight back to the USA (August 4) and to visit my feisty, intelligent, hilarious friend Carly Teng in Taiwan (July 27- August 2)!!! — with Carly Teng.

April 7

I am finally active on Instagram. Follow me at fiercebadasskitty.

April 8

Happy hump day Seoulites!! Meow. USAers… you’re almost there. Meow.

April 8

If anyone could make this decision other than me…

April 10

Question on the board today: Why is it important to have heros?

Student: Do you mean comic super heros or real heros like teachers, like you?

Me: Smile from ear to ear.

April 12

The economic climate does not support what was ‘traditional’ for a 20 year period in USA history (the glory days of Reagan and Clinton). I am from the ‘boomerang’ generation that returns home or goes abroad to save money/make money so that I can pay back my loans. We are also the generation of ‘companionship couplehood’, no longer requiring or desiring gendered norms or roles, or for that matter, the approval of society.

April 13

“Beauty was not something that I could acquire or consume. It was just something that I had to be.” –Lupita Nyong’o

April 14

Priviledge is a terrific power and an overwhelming responsibility to live socially just and to contribute to the surrounding community. The more money, power, and privilege… the greater the push to use extra resources for equality of rights and opportunities.

April 14

113 days until I am reunited with my first love… Chipotle.

April 16

Welp. Glad to know Korea is one of the safest places in the world because I just returned home after an 8 hour work day to realize that I left my apartment door wide open!

April 22

Surprise kitty ring present today^^ Thanks Brianna Bengtson!!

April 23

Papa Bear ‘ism’ of the day… a perfect way to start my last work day of the week, “I always love you when you are you. It doesn’t get better than that sweet heart!!” I my Papa Bear

April 25

Ya betcha! Interesting, unique, and different are definitely not adjectives that would pass as compliments coming from a Minnesotan. Lol

April 25

Please tell me that women have more going on in their lives?!? Where is the media, movies, TV, literature, or magazines that show women bonding over anything other than talking about men? NO. SERIOUSLY… I am asking FB people out there… do you know of movies, TV, books that have two or more named female characters who have a relationship that doesn’t revolve around discussing men or anything else superficial?

April 25

Thirsty Thursday shinanegans…

April 25

My student Theo found this on my desk this week and would not stop saying ‘pussy’~ pronounced puzzy~ the rest of the class… le sigh.

April 26

My favorite time of year, in my favorite area of Seoul: Insadong and Jogaesa.

April 28

Chris Mungin, you send the BEST kind of package! MeeooowwWW! Kitty like.

April 29

I never do FB friend quizzes, but I’m in an altered state of mind, so FAVORITE DORITOS FLAVOR!!?! And go… (leave comment)

May 2 · Edited

I’m ready for our 4 day trip touring Namhae and Goje Islands!! See you Monday night ^^

May 9

Our friendship started 9 years ago and has included living together, working together, volunteering together and obsessing over cats, just to name a few. In 112 days we will be reunited after nearly 2 years of unbearable separation. Can’t wait kitty betch!!

May 14

A spectacular day 1 of 2 for Teacher Appreciation week: an assorted basket bouquet with roses, a bundt cake, carnations, coffee, and a card

May 15

Day 2 bounty: Belgium chocolates, muffins, cake,hand made flowers, carrot juice, and fancy tea!! I am not into teaching for the presents, but it is a gleeful bonus!

May 16

“Read good books. Keep a journal. Write every day. Trust yourself. Take advantage of every good thought. Laziness will kill your dreams with a self-inflicted wound.” -Jack Gantos

May 18

Welp. It only took a very concerned team of 5 Koreans (who couldn’t speak English) to help this fluffy blonde (who still can’t communicate well in Korean) ship two boxes and 5 letters in the midst of morning rush with a building queue. Thank you whoever you are!!

May 20

Drunk facebook-liking is dangerous.

May 25

When I ask my student’s what they know about the USA, more and more, the very first response is that it is so dangerous because of gun ownership. Our national pride in guns is foolish folly from an outsiders perspective and my own as well. Smh. Uggghhh.

May 26

Galavanting around Gangnam with John Avaricio Mascardo and happened upon Kakao Talk Cafe!! So fun^^ We both got souvenirs. — with John Avaricio Mascardo.

May 27

“We are often criminals in the eyes of the Earth, not only for having committed crimes, but because we know that crimes have been committed.” -Hombre de la Mascara de Hierro

June 1 · Edited

Great times with fabulous companions. Couldn’t be more blessed. So many laughs ^^

June 1

I was having a miraculous dream with Tyrese, but woke up as a fluffy white woman living in Korea with a bloody nose. Can’t help but hear Eminem’s words… “snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity.” Welcome to my Monday. Le sigh.

June 15

After 1 year and 5 countries, I have to say goodbye to you comfy pillows of heaven for my feet. Better to have loved and lost, than not at all.

June 16

…when you realize you went to check a text and start looking on facebook on your phone whilst facebook is up on your laptop in front of you. Le sigh.

June 16

Through a joint effort of my parents and the caring Chris Mungin, I gleefully received a very special package today!! Such a great way to lift my day even higher

June 18

Steak, Vietnamese pho, and Korean patpingsu at 11 am… don’t mind if I do…

June 19

Introducing the new addition to the Kelly family: Spencer!!!!

June 19

Please keep the Kelly family in your thoughts and prayers. Our home was struck by lightening last night. Everyone is physically ok, but they are now trying to assess the damage.

June 20

If you aren’t from Minnesota, you might not know how critical and cherished cabin season really is. Here’s an example:

Despite having their house being struck by lightening and taking care of our new sexy beast cat Spencer, my parents are still headed to the cabin Friday through Monday. Dedicated.

June 20

Did I miss something? Why is Iggy Azalea popular? I guess I have been gone for far too long. She can’t dance, she can’t sing, her lyrics are repetitive, and she copies scenes from other art/movies in her videos. I don’t get it. smh.

June 24

During a flash back giggle fest with John Avaricio Mascardo, I recalled a funny story, so here is one memory from my 10 years of teaching swim lessons at the beach:

In order to abate the screams from my anxiety-ridden 4-year-olds, I told my children a little lie. “The little sun fishies are not sucking on your skin, they are giving you lovely welcome kisses,” I gleefully stated. One kid tearfully replied, “but my mommy told me not to accept kisses from strangers.” Jaw dropped, I retorted, “THEY ARE FISH, NOT PEOPLE!” Lolz

June 24

39 days left.

Korean Southern Island Tour: May 2-6

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Geojedo Island is Korea’s second largest island with breathtaking scenery. At Jangpyeong-ri, simply pass the great bridge and you will be led directly to Geojedo Island, which boasts the bulk of the South Sea’s tourist attractions. Haegeumgang, Mongdol Beach and Oedo Island Paradise Island are the most popular sites among them.

Haegeumgang, an island made of rocks, belongs to Hallyeo Marina National Park and is also called the Geumgang of the South Sea. It is famous for both its sunsets and sunrises, and its unique rock formations. Also, Hakdong Mongdol Beach, made of pebbles called Mongdol, has camellias and fairy pits in spring, and comes alive as a beach resort in summer. Oedo Paradise Island, which recently became a popular site, is called the ‘Paradise of Korea’ because of the 3,000 kinds of decorated trees and the Mediterranean style buildings that stand upon this 264 square km land. This island is a poplar site for filming soap dramas due to the combination of the exotic atmosphere and sea.

Geojedo Island is historically a significant place. Memorial services are held annually in memory of General Lee Sun-Shin at the Okpodaecheop (war) Memorial Park, built in memory of the battle of Okpo(1592.5.7 – 5.8). Geojedo Island also had the biggest prisoner-of-war camp during the Korean War, and the camp has been restored as a historical relics site.

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Above: view from our one-room-for-7 hostel. Below: racks of drying seaweed

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Experiencing trepidation on our first ferry ride after the Sewol sinking in April…

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Below: Oedo-Botania is a marine botanical garden located in Hallyeo Maritime National Park, which has a beautiful view of the crystal blue South Sea and surrounding landscape. It is 4 kilometers away from Geojedo Island. About 20 minutes by ship from Gujora Port, past Naedo Island lies the European-like Oedo Island. In 1969, Lee Chang-ho first came to this island to escape from the wind and waves as he was fishing. He and his wife created this breathtaking landscape with all the care for 30 years.

In April, the island is covered with a plethora of flowers. The Venus Garden displays twelve sculptures and a western-style garden. At Paradise Lounge, one can enjoy the sunshine and the sea while drinking beverages. Camellias and various kinds of rare flowers from all over the world can be found in Oedo. When coming down the ‘Stairway to Heaven,’ visitors can view the beautiful garden and the ocean in the background. Magnificent terrace landscaping line both sides of the stairway. Oedo Paradise Island is without a doubt, a true paradise.

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Day 2:

A short, hour-long ferry ride from Tongyeong Port takes one to Hallyeo Maritime National Park, Somaemuldo Island. Located at the end of the Korean Peninsula, the island is well known for its oddly shaped rocks of the coast cliffs, the clear and blue sea, the beautiful Deungdaesum Island, which is often shown in movies and commercials.
Passing through the 500~600-year-old camelli woods for 30 min from the pier at Somaemuldo Island, you will get to Mangtaebong Peak, the top of the island. The peak is a natural observatory to enjoy the many islands of Tongyeong and Geoje Haeguemgang River. The view of Deungdaesum Island is indescribably beautiful. Somaemuldo Island is also one of the best tourist sites toward the end of the year because of the magnificent view of the sunset and sunrise.
The highlight of Somaemuldo Island is Deungdaesum Island, also called ‘Haegeumdo.’ This island is so small that it takes only 20 min to walk around. The white lighthouse on the hill and green grass make for romantic scenery. The lighthouse, which is the only facility on the island, was bulit by Japan during the Japanese Colonial Period (1910-1945). The 150-meter waterway from Somaemuldo Island to Deungdaesum Island is where the miracle of Moses takes place. Two islands are connected with a gravel road twice a day when the tides ebb. Deungdaesum Island, covered with wild camomiles from late October to early November, is especially fantastic.

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Listening to the now-required safety speech for our second ferry tour of the adventure…

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Below: variations on hiking gear in Korea…

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Below: the clusterfuck of a non-line to get back onto the ferry and the crowded floor space left on the ferry for those who didn’t manage to get a seat. It was hot and rocking back and forth. Miraculously, these two were able to sleep right through it.

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Day 3:

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A five-hour drive from Seoul leads visitors to a quaint place known as Namhae, Korea’s “treasure island.” A bridge that was constructed in 1973 now is connected to the mainland, which makes it no longer an island in the truest sense. This small yet beautiful island has picturesque sceneries harmoniously juxtaposing the mountains and the sea. The jagged 302-kilometer coastline reveals strange rock formations that create a fantastic view reminiscent of ancient Asian paintings.

The island is actually the topmost part of a huge mountain range rising from the sea floor. Because of its topological characteristics, the whole island is formed from mountains that descend steeply to the shoreline. It is surrounded by emerald-colored seas dotted with 68 islands, some inhabited and some not.

Largely untouched by development efforts, Namhae Island still has a purely traditional agricultural and fishing community. Along the steep coast, the people managed to create terraced fields to produce garlic in the spring and rice in the summer and autumn. If you would like to see what Korean life was like a half century ago, this is the place to go.

Just driving along the 302-kilometer-long coastline is enough to impress visitors. However, a trip to some tourist sites will make the trip even more worthwhile. Most are located near the coast and can be enjoyed during the course of the ride. In this edition, French student Frederic accompanied us to the major tourist sites of Namhae: Hilton Golf Namhae Resort, Daraengi Village, Geumsan Boriam Rock, Sangju Beach, Mijohang Port, Haeoreum Art Village and a German Village where we experienced fishing and pottery-making.

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ROK June 2014

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This blog is a review of my adventures in June 2014. Please read and enjoy the pics of me prancing around Korea with my friends.

First escapade: Suwon.

Suwon is the capital and largest metropolis of Gyeonggi-do. It is approximately 1 hour south of Seoul (19 miles) and is home to a high percentage of the 12 million commuters that Seoul receives 6 days a week. Transportation is super convenient in Korea, so one can choose an express bus or the subway to get there. Suwon is traditionally known as “The City of Filial Piety”. It has existed in various forms throughout Korea’s history, growing from a small settlement in tribal times to a major industrial and cultural city today. It is the only remaining completely walled city in South Korea. As an industrial center, it houses a Samsung Electronics R&D center and headquarters. Suwon is also a major educational center, being home to 11 university campuses.

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Above: Andra, her visiting friend from Minnesota, Lindsay, and I took the Suwon bus tour around the city for approximately 3 hours. Our first stop on the tour, the Mr. Toilet House.

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This has got to be the biggest case of turning a disadvantage into a life’s goal. Born in the outdoor toilet of his mother’s house, Sim jae Duck grew up with the nickname Gettongi (literally, dog sh!t). Sim Jae Duck eventually became the mayor of Suwon city, and picked out a new nickname for himself: Mr. Toilet. He helped drastically improve, regulate and revolutionize the bathroom experience in Korea. Thank God! After helping to establish the World Toilet Association in 2007, this two-story toilet-shaped building was built celebrating the man, the legend, the toilet. He passed away in January 2009, and now that the site has been completed, it’s a full-blown tourist attraction.

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Second stop, Hwaseong Fortress, for a traditional weaponry display and demonstration. The show lasted for over 30 minutes. Here are just a few of my favorite shots.

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Below: I did a lot of research trying to find out information about this golden buddha in the hills and its significance in Suwon to no avail, so I give you this incredible picture with little explanation. It is two stories tall and has been classified as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

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Third stop, Hwaseong Fortress gate. The fortress was built as part of a planned city constructed by King Jeongjo, the 22nd monarch of the Joseon Dynasty. It served as the southern gate of the capital city of Seoul during the Joseon Dynasty. The area was a strategic site for military security, and Hwaseong Fortress served as a key site for commerce. Today, Hwaseong Fortress is surrounded by many roads both small and major in addition to the Gyeonggi Provincial Government Building, giving many the opportunity to view the scenic juxtaposition of old and modern architecture. 

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Above: Andra and Lindsay try a few shots at archery.

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The fortress (constructed from 1794 to 1796) was built as a show of the King’s filial piety towards his father Jangheonseja and to build a new pioneer city with its own economic power. The fortress wall stretches for a total of 5.52km and has a great variety of military facilities that’s hard to find anywhere else. Four gates face each of the cardinal directions—Janganmun (north), Paldalmun (south), Changnyongmun (east), and Hwaseomun (west).

Hwaseong Fortress was constructed under the guidance of Yu Hyeong-Won and Jeong Yak-Yong, and is believed to have been constructed very scientifically. The fortress wall was built using Seokjae and Jeondol (bricks) and the holes between the bricks are just big enough to fire guns, arrows, or long spears through in case of an attack.

The Suwon Hwaseong Fortress went through many turbulent times and damage, and in the battle of June 25th, many of the facilities became so damaged that they were deemed irreparable. Even though the fortress restoration initiative (1975-1979) restored many of the sites to their former glory, Paldalmun to Dongnamgakru (an area 491 meters in length) has still not been renovated. The fortress was designated as Historical Monument No. 3 in January 1963, and in December 1997, it was designated a UNESCO World Cultural Heritage Site.

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Last stop on the tour: Suwon Hwaseong Museum.

The museum presents the history and culture of the Suwon Hwaseong Fortress and has two permanent exhibition spaces: ‘The Exhibition Hall on Construction of Fortress’ (construction process of the Suwon Hwaseong Fortress and the development of the city) and ‘The Cultural Center’ (illustrates various historical events related to the fortress such events held during the 8-day visit of King Jeongjo in 1795).

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Before we retuned to Seoul, the three of us enjoyed 3 different varieties of ‘bing su.’ Bing su is a staple Korean summer delicacy. It includes shaved ice and additives ranging from fruit to red bean paste. The store clerk was surprised that each of us ordered one, given that they come in a size suitable for 2-3 people. Ohhh Korea. Their 2-3 portion size is much like the USA size for one. I ordered the New York Cheese cake with ice cream, saltine crackers and shaved ice. Lindsay had the coffee themed one and Andra stuck to a classic strawberry version.

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One Thursday night after work, the Apgu branch (John, Andra, Brandon & I) ventured north of the river to meet up with Jesse in Itaewon for some spicy ribs and samgyeopsal. Samgyeopsal is a popular Korean evening meal. It consists of thick, fatty slices of pork belly meat (similar to uncured bacon). The meat, usually neither marinated nor seasoned, is cooked on a grill at the diners’ table. Usually diners grill the meat themselves and eat directly from a grill. It is most commonly dipped in sesame seed oil mixed with salt and pepper.

According to a 2006 survey by Agricultural Cooperatives in Korea, 85% of South Korean adults surveyed stated their favorite pork is samgyeopsal. The survey also showed 70% of recipients eat the meat at least once a week. The high popularity of samgyeopsal makes it one of the most expensive parts of pork. South Korea imports wholesale samgyeopsal from Belgium, the Netherlands, and other countries for the purpose of price stabilization as imported pork is much cheaper than domestic. Samgyeopsal is popularly consumed both at restaurants and at home, and also used as an ingredient for other Korean dishes, such as kimchi jjigae.

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Above: After 1 year and 5 countries, I had to say goodbye to my comfy pillows of heaven for my feet. They could no longer be repaired. I had super glued and sown them one back together too many times.

Below: One evening on our way to visit Carly, John and I passed one of the many sock stands in Korea. They are everywhere. Koreans LOVE their socks. I decided to purchase a few pairs for Chris and I. Hilariously, neither John nor I ever considered that the mens pair would not fit Chris (who wears a size 16 shoe). Later that evening as I was bragging about my thoughtful gift, Ellie reminded me that most Korean men have tiny feet (comparable to a women’s size 8). Le sigh. I hope it was the thought that count. I wound up gifting them to my amazing two male coworkers, John and Brandon. haha!

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Above: On a Wednesday before work, I met up with my Korean housewife tutee who had been absent from my life for the past 6 months. She took me out to VIPS, a popular steak restaurant with a fancy buffet. This was my first time having American style steak in 17 months. It was so delicious. The restaurant also had a spectacular range of salad bar, soups, deserts and drink options. In addition to the steak, I had Vietnamese pho (noodle soup) and pat bing su. We grabbed Starbucks after and enjoyed a walk through the park. It was so lovely to catch up on life, food, and experience the steamy outdoors.

Below: One of my student’s magnificent drawings of me. She even got my unintentional ombre hair coloring.

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Below: Night out in Hongdae listening to live acoustic music with Carly (on weekend trip from Taiwan), Jooyea, Tom, John and Ellie.

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Above: Sunday corrections break with Ellie in Carosugil. I’m enjoying this scrumptious version of patbingsu and the cat-themed cafe decor^^

Below: Next to the cafe was a store entitled Hornycat- just one of many English translations gone wrong.

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The final and most exciting June exploit was attending my first Korean wedding!!

The wedding took place in Uijeongbu, just north of Seoul by 1.5 hours. Uijeongbu contains U.S. and Korean military bases, to be used for the defense of the Korean capital. Despite being known for its military presence, the area has boomed into a satellite community of Seoul with shops, cinemas, restaurants and bars, PC bangs and DVD Bangs. There are several mountains that are popular recreational areas for hiking and are frequented by residents living in the Seoul Metropolitan area. This city is famous for its buddaejjigae street food (a soup made with spam and hot dogs), and it was one of the film locations for the popular syndicated TV show M.A.S.H. My limited experience of the city felt clean, welcoming, homey and VERY VERY QUIET.

Featured in the picture below is my Korean friend Areim and her mother who were outside the wedding hall welcoming guests. Areim’s older sister, the bride, was a former employee of Espirit (the company I currently work for and consider to be my family away from home). I was more than pleased to be invited to this, potentially once in a lifetime experience, Korean wedding. Thank you Areim!!

 

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After the inaugural picture with Areim and her mother, I visited the ticket booth to give my donation to the couple in a white envelope in exchange for a meal voucher to be used post ceremony. It is never appropriate for one to give cash without an envelope in Korea, as it would be seen as extremely rude. It is also not customary to give wedding presents at a modern Korean wedding. Instead, guests give money to the couple to help them get their life started.

Most adults live with their parents until marriage (approximately 25-35 years of age) because of the enormous cost of apartment renting or owning, which is outrageously egregious compared to USA standard apartment costs. Although the current generation is racking up credit card debt similar to Americans, Koreans were previously known for their saving abilities. Weddings help to supplement the savings of the parents and the working bride and/or groom’s funds to assist in all the necessary home furniture, appliances, etc. There is no minimum or maximum required donation by guests, but in general a good friend would give approximately $50 and family members, $100.

The next stop was the picture room where the bride sits to be photographed with her guests. I found this part to be quite exciting. I felt like I was waiting to meet a princess. She was one of the most gorgeous brides I have ever seen in my life! The bedazzled gown was rented, as is customary in Korea.

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Above: the Espirit group ready to celebrate!

Below: The bride and groom walk down an elevated runway together. There is no ‘giving away’ of the bride. The couple walked through a cheesy heart bouquet of flowers on their way down the aisle. The gown was so spectacularly grand that someone had to assist her walking up the stairs, turning around, and basically any other movement than one step forward. There was no exchange of vows, just one man speaking. I couldn’t understand anything because everything was in Korean. The bride and groom did not smile throughout almost the entire ceremony until the end. This may have been due to nerves or just traditional Korean stoicism. The groom had his hands in tightly clenched fists the entire time, which is very unusual for Korean army men who are usually required to keep to their resting stance with hands in straight blade form.

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My favorite part of the entire ceremony was when the bride and groom performed bowing or ‘sebae’ to their parents. Sebae is a traditionally observed activity on Seollal (lunar new year), and is filial piety oriented. Children wish their elders a happy new year by performing one deep traditional bow. I am not sure if this activity was exactly sebae, but it was obviously a way for the married couple to give homage to their parents. The groom did a full bow on the floor while the bride took a shallow bow to adhere to the constraints of her wardrobe. 

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After the ceremony was completed, a cart was rolled up to the bride and groom to cut the cake with two swords. Posed pictures were taken during this process. I believe the cake was provided by the wedding hall, along with the cart. No cake was ever served or eaten at the reception. On the walk back down the aisle, the Espirit crew were asked to throw rose petals on them.

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Once the walk down the aisle was finalized, photos of the couple, families, and visitors began to take place. A lot of smiling started to happen too!

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In the very blurry picture below, Bri is featured catching the bouquet. Typically, the bride chooses a woman to catch the bouquet who is planning on getting married within the ensuing 6 months. Bri happens to be getting married in September of 2015, so they kind of broke tradition with timing. The catching of the bouquet, much like the cutting of the cake, was impersonal and very posed for the pictures, but cute and fun to watch nonetheless.

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We weren’t allowed to stay in the wedding hall too long, because the next wedding needed to be set up for. From the walk down the aisle to the end of the photo session, about 45 minutes lapsed. One criticism of Korean weddings is that they are so expensive, but lacking in individualization or personalization by the people getting married and not very representative of the couple as a whole. While I found this to be true, I didn’t really think it was all that surprising. Koreans are ridiculously practical and efficient. Also, this is a collectivist culture with tendencies towards wanting to be similar to peers, not to stand out. What I missed the most was an exchange of personal vows.

After the picture ops, we proceeded to the top floor for a very expansive buffet. I was pleasantly surprised by the seemingly endless choices of food, ranging from sushi, sashimi, rice, noodle dishes, namyeong, kimchi of all varieties, slow roasted meats, tempura, mandu, yukhoe (raw beef), and a desert station. Sorry for the horribly shitty pictures of the food. By this time, I was raging starving so I just chowed down.

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By 4 pm (2 hours total time) we were out the door and on the subway heading back for Seoul. On the way back I met an adorable adjumma who loved my nails and wanted to show me hers! haha.

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Recent reads:

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Information in this blog was gathered from: oneweirdglobe.com, Korea Tourist Organization, and the all-knowing, Wikipedia.

May & Miss Carly’s Return

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May 2014 was a cacophony of embroiled emotions. I had a blast experiencing the return of one of my favorite people on this planet, Miss Carly Teng (for a three week stay), and enjoyed the spring weather. On the other hand, the duration of my stay in Korea is nearing its end, which is spawning a well of sadness, anticipatory stress, and a struggle to stay present-minded. The following blog will review the joyful happenings of May and discuss some of my non-cajoling thoughts.

The above picture is of Canuck Bear- a present from my closest Chinese Canadian friend, Carly. Carly landed on Friday May 2nd and she stayed at my place for her first weekend. When I opened the door to let her in, it felt like I had just seen her the prior day. Effortlessly, our raunchy jokes, feminist-themed dialogue and fits of giggles returned as if they had never left.

Her first night in town happened to be the very same day as my departure for a southern Korean island tour (which will be featured in another blog posting), so we only had time for BBQ and inebriation. Upon return from the 4-day trip, many of us went out in Hongdae for makgeoli and jeon: Carly, Tom, Chantel, K-dragon, and Ariem. Below: Pre-dinner selfie and the gathering.

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John and Andra met up with us after dinner to drink in what is a children’s park during the daytime, and a raucous crowd of university students in the evening, who happened to be viewing the band from the roof top while drinking.

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We followed up beer and makgeoli with a classic Korean activity- noraebang singing.

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Above right: Our taxi driver on the way home from Hongdae had an interesting display of model cars complete with a mini-spotlight. Below: Ellie and I spent the day river side, walking in ‘nature.’ Please mind the grayness of the sky in all the pictures of this blog. Recent weather forecasts often indicate a temperature of mid-80s Fahrenheit and smoggy haze. Is ‘smog’ or ‘haze’ even a weather term? Permanent pollution is more like it, but no worries, only half of my friends so far have experienced severe allergies, skin reactions and chemically-induced, premature balding. I hope I am not not next! If one misses the bright ‘natural’ colors of nature, Seoul always has a modern solution- just show actual nature pictures on an artsy display wall at the city’s largest park.

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On the self-labled Fashion Street, ‘interesting’ fashion choices are made… The plaid clad individual on the left is a man. In my opinion, those pants are too tight, even if one is into the skinny jean craze. There is no rain forecasted. His girlfriend seems less concerned than he is about the sun. They are adorable though, right?
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There are 55 days left before I leave Korea. I have been having a hard time keeping my swollen heart, brimming with gratitude, belly laughs, travel memories and professional/personal development, inside my chest cavity. As each day drops from the calendar like a heavy gong in a silent, non-suspecting room, I can feel the ligaments and bones holding my heart in place tear and fracture as each are painstakingly plucked from their delicate bow. My pillow is damp from many tear-filled moments before my fitful angst, midway between sleep and awake, where I seem to exist these days. I stopped taking pain management medication, sleeping pills and muscle relaxers because I want to be viscerally present for this detachment process; ironically, in the course of being ‘present’ in my progression, I have been carrying the bewildering weight of so much anticipatory stress. My to do list is pages long, and recently, I have been to many places, but not much seems to get done. I have seen many people, but no one in particular. I feel constant haziness, as my norm waking hours become a struggle to opaque the future moments that I want to avoid.

I hate goodbyes the way most people hate moving, for they are painful, seemingly unnecessary, and logistically labored. I happen to be saying goodbye and moving. In my own detested syntax, and Papa Bear’s least favorite of my vernacular, Fuck MY Life. Not literally or even figuratively, of course, as this last year and a half has been the best of my life. Have I enjoyed the last month? Of course! … as you can see from the pictures and blogged documentation. Do I want to move home just yet? No. But before you emote shock, let me explain. It’s the access to hundreds of restaurants, museums, cultural experiences, and like-minded expats. It’s the way I am a privileged resident. It’s the softness of Theo Puff’s (my student) skin when he leans on me and Stephanie’s little hand in mine. It’s the collaborative work environment with an intellectually stimulating boss in meetings who is then mostly hands off about the classroom. It’s the hardy laughs every day from my coworkers and my stunningly brilliant students.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have some pretty exciting things to look forward to when returning to the USA. I look forward to hugging my best friend, Papa Bear, for the first time in 19 months. I look forward to gliding the blue hull of my kayak into the cool morning calm of a Minnesotan lake and gingerly sliding my finger tips into the refreshing water. I can’t wait for the first bite of Chipotle and to obtain two new kitties for the Kelly household! I have worries about the status of Chris and my relationship, about how my presence will rock the boat for my parents’current synergy, and how willing my parents will be to let me cook. I am anxious about taking the GRE again, relearning French, applying to phD programs, and finding work that I am as passionate about as teaching. I will miss the city, my friends, the children. I will feel lonely and not safe in America for sure. I equally look forward to and dread the moment that I will walk down an empty road for the first time. I have so many family, financial, and future obligations at home that seem so daunting right now. Above all, I will miss traveling.

I constantly say this to Chris at home, and I mean it: I know the kids won’t remember me and that’s truly ok, but I will remember each of them forever. I will remember their infectious smiles, handwriting, creative stories, awkward farts in class, lessons on picking noses, them laughing with me and at me. I have taught each of my students about being great academics, and hopefully also life lessons about responsibility, striving for their personal best and having a mindset of gratitude. Most moving though is what they have taught me.

I have learned to talk and think slower. I have learned to be compassionate towards these little work machines that Korea keeps pumping out. I often witness that they believe anything is possible and their blatant naivety is intoxicating. They are little humans that will shape the future and hopefully use their wealthy privilege to progress Korea into a more egalitarian society. Every moment counts. It only takes one marvelous or horrendous experience to sear the brain and emotions forever. Teachers are so respected here that I choose my words and my life lessons very carefully. I feel that I matter. I hope they feel that from me too.

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Above: my Teacher’s Appreciation Week loot- coffee, a tomato, a flower basket with roses, carnations & a card, strawberry juice, bunt cake, muffins, Belgian chocolates, fine tea & coffee set, carrot juice, and an art flower creation. I’m spoiled and I love it! I don’t teach to get presents, but I can’t say that I mind the benefit!!

Chris has wondered why it is that I love any and all presents so much, to the extent that I request them to be given consistently, without reason or rhyme? Surprisingly, even though I like fashion and shopping, I don’t do it that often and I am not a very materialistic person, compared to many of my peers. I often prefer spending extra money on experiential activities and traveling than on clutter, and yet I get giddy with gifts. I have traced this pleasure back to growing up with a gregarious, expressive father and an emotionally muted, hardworking mother. My mom worked long hours to provide for our family. My dad and I spent many nights by the TV, eagerly darting our eyes out the window at the corner of our cul de sac every time we saw a vehicle, hoping that it was my mom’s headlights coming around the bend. Being understandably tired, she would often sigh and plop down on the bed to change before joining us. When she came to the living room, she would often say that she had gone out on her lunch hour and got me something- a highlighter, stickers, snacks, etc. I didn’t really care what she got me (I certainly did not care about the monetary value), but I was so excited that she thought about me and I couldn’t wait to tell all my friends the next day at school, “look at what my mom got for me!!” To this day, when someone thinks of me and buys me something as a token of their affection it makes me so joyful!

Below: Diva crown day with my favorite- Theo Puff.

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Below: Night out with Carly, her boyfriend Greg, Andra, Ellie, John, Areim, and Eunha at Chez Maak. Chez Maak is one of my favorite trendy hip spots for makgeoli and jeon (savory kimchi pancakes).

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Below: We are off to our second place and phase of drinking for the evening… or as Korean’s say Ee cha… to argue the merits of national defense.

It’s no secret that Koreans are some of the hardest workers in the world.  From a young age, one spends his or her school days buried in books, memorizing endless pages of material, and hopping from math to English to art academy.  There’s very little time for play, or childhood even.  Things don’t change much by the time one reaches the workplace.  Of the cities across the globe, those working in Seoul put in the most working hours per week on average. Efficiency has nothing to do with it, but because of their propensity to work hard, they find it necessary to play hard, too.  And very few can play as hard as Koreans do.

When living in or visiting Korea, it becomes obvious fairly quickly that nightlife in Korea is a big deal.  Drinking and going out is as much of an integral part of Korean culture as kimchi.  As in many places, university students and twenty-somethings flock to nightlife districts like Hongdae, Gangnam, and Itaewon to escape the imminent pressures of life and to get buzzed on cheap drinks and celebrate their youth.  For the career man (or woman), going out is a way to maintain social connections and is often unavoidable and obligatory in many workplaces.  But, unlike in the West, evenings of binge drinking occur just about every night of the week and rather than throwing back a few brews in one particular restaurant or bar, Koreans party in cha, or rounds, moving, drinking, and eating in various places.

Generally, a night out involves four cha but big nights out can take party-goers all the way into a fifth.  Depending on who you ask, each round should be at a specific kind of place, but because we are foreigners, we don’t really follow those rules. I have never made it past 3 cha, and all nights are not necessarily in the following order. They are easily interchangeable.

Il-Cha (Round 1):  Dinner and Drinks

Koreans usually begin their nights out at a barbeque restaurant.  There’s something about Korean barbeque that encourages drinking.  Perhaps it’s the sight of the fatty slabs of samgyeopsal (pork belly) or the smell of burning charcoal. A few bottles of maekju and soju are ordered almost immediately upon sitting down.  There are quite a few drinking games that encourage taking shots of the Korean firewater from the iconic green bottles. Most of our nights start with BBQ, but on this particular one, we started with round 2.

Ee-Cha (Round 2):  Bar or Hof
Koreans usually order in sets when in groups and the bill is typically picked up by one person, as “going dutch” is practically unheard of in traditional Korean culture.

Sam-Cha (Round 3): Another Bar or Hof
Sam-cha is more or less the same as ee-cha, except at this point, everyone is boozed up.  This is the point where folks let out their frustrations or problems with one another, as anything said while intoxicated is essentially “forgotten and forgiven” the next day.  Hofs are common hangouts for round three, as anju (drinking food) must be purchased with drinks.  Said snacks are usually consumed with the intent of decreasing the chance of a morning hangover.

Sa-Cha (Round 4):  The Main Party
Round four typically involves dancing.  There are plenty of big, flashy clubs throughout Seoul but there are also some cool underground places that are pretty chill but allow for dancing and mingling if its desired. Patrons sit at tables in caves or dance to indie electronica.  Fortunately for the night owls, most clubs and bars such as these stay open until the wee hours of the morning, or at least until the first subway trains start running.

O-Cha (Round 5):  Karaoke
Karaoke is a national pastime of Korea. Karaoke isn’t something that is done in large groups of strangers here; instead, noraebangs are businesses of individual rooms, allowing private parties to sing their hearts out.  For the most part, noraebangs are extremely tacky with their neon flashing lights and cheesy decor. People drink a few beers, shake tambourines, and sing (or try to) a very random mix of songs.

By the end of o-cha, most are exhausted and head home (or to the nearest sidewalk) for a few hours of sleep before making it to class or work the next morning.  I will never understand how Koreans work so hard and play so hard at the same time. As time and Korea progresses, however, many companies are working to stamp out the excessive drinking culture.  Employees are beginning to take a stand and some have even gone so far as to sue their employers for being forced to drink. It’s great to know that measures are being taken to combat binge drinking in the corporate environment.   

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Below: Jesse’s 31st birthday- 12 of us went out for dinner to have dak kalbi.

Dak galbi is a popular Korean dish generally made by stir-frying marinated diced chicken in a gochujang (chili pepper paste), sliced cabbagesweet potatoscallionsonionsperilla leaves, and tteok (rice cake) together on a hot plate. Dak galbi appeared after the late 1960s as an inexpensive anju (food that is eaten while drinking) in small taverns, on the outskirts of the city to replace the comparatively expensive gui dishes which are grilled over charcoal. The dish spread where the livestock industry thrived and offered fresh ingredients with no need for refrigeration. It is also a popular dish for university students who are on a low budget, because it is relatively cheap and served in abundance. Despite the fact that its name means chicken ribs, there is no rib meat in dak galbi. 

Next, we went to a ‘uniuqe’ dive bar that I probably will never frequent again. It had very aggressive English swear words plastered everywhere. I know I am a walking hypocrite given that I repurpose many of these words on a day-to-day basis, but I am more of a lounge type person, if the experience involves drinking only.

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Below: A Saturday picnic at the park near the river. These pictures sorely misrepresent the at least 50 people in attendance of 5 birthdays at the park (Bri, Ben, Jesse, Bama, Jeff). The week before the park get together, I had been complaining about alcohol being uncomfortable to drink on a hot day. Wine is for dinner, cheese or lounges. I don’t drink beer ever, but if I did it would make me feel bloated. And hard liquor just makes one hotter. So… I decided to make my own refreshing mixed drink: Lemon Rosemary Cucumber Spritzer.

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One Sunday, I went to the Hapjeong cafe area with Chantel…

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Above right: The first Psychiatric Services sign, building, or otherwise, that I have seen in the past 1.5 years. Stigma surrounding mental health is still overwhelmingly oppressive here.

Below: My favorite summer dessert- Patbingsu!!

The early forms of patbingsu consisted of shaved ice and two or three ingredients: red bean paste, tteok (rice cakes), and ground nut powder. The first patbingsu could be found in the Joseon Dynasty (1392-1897). Government records show officials sharing crushed ice topped with various fruits. Some historians believe that the dessert originated from a Chinese tradition of eating snow or ice topped with fruit juices, but Korea disputes this origin. The modern forms of patbingsu are reputed to originate during the period of Japanese occupation (1910-1945) with the introduction of a cold red bean paste dish. However, the combinations of red bean paste and shaved ice is a Korean invention. During the Korean War (1950-1953), foreign influence led to the inclusion of ingredients such as fruit cocktailice cream, fruits, nuts, cerealsyrups, and whipped cream

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Below: Holy Geek out moments with John in Gangnam at Kakao Talk Cafe!! The following animated creatures are a set of extremely popular emoticons used on a texting application in Korea: Kakao Talk. I use this application ALL the time, even to talk to many of my friends back in the USA. It is completely free and so fun to use. The digital has become physical in this fun, quirky cafe.

Can you guess which one is my favorite character? Bossy Neo- the blue cat! Neo is a prim and self-oriented cat who cares for no one but herself. She is obsessed with her black bob cut wig, which is one source of her confidence. Frodo (the brown dog) and bossy Neo despise, yet love each other. You can always find them together but they are usually fighting- like cats and dogs! At the end of the day, they always find ways to settle things, no matter what.

Chris’s favorite emoticon is Jay-G, the one with the blonde afro and sunglasses. Jay-G always makes it a point to get his afro done fresh and his suit crisp. He is a secret agent who finds inspiration from his largest idol, Jay-Z. Although Jay-G tries to portray an image of a calm, cool-headed and professional dude, he is actually as clumsy as a bear and has the heart of a pussycat who is hungry for affection.

John graciously lent me money to buy a few souvenirs 🙂

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Below: John and I bought tickets to the 29th annual Korea World Travel Fair. The purpose of the fair is to promote tourism around the world by highlighting global costumes and cultural performances, as well as offering petite food and drink samples.

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Below: John and I met a sassy Kenyan Masai leader who travels around the world promoting tourism. We had a fascinating conversation with him about his job and the effects of tourism on cultural degradation, education expansion, and promotion of human rights issues within his tribe. He was an excellent English speaker and was passionate about promoting education not tied to ministry and about ending the crisis of female genital mutilation and HIV within his community. He gave us two of his bracelets and his card. I hope to meet him again some day.

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Below: Two Thai performances. Ironically, Chris and I never got to see one in Thailand, so this was especially awesome!

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Below: Okinawan, Japanese dance and drum team performance.

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Below: I am featured wearing an Afgahani lapis lazuli stone necklace. The procurer of the stone and jewelry maker is sitting in the picture. I wish I had bought it!!

Lapis lazuli is a deep blue stone with golden inclusions of pyrites which shimmer like little stars. This opaque gemstone has a grand past. It was among the first gemstones to be worn as jewellery and worked on. At excavations in the ancient centres of culture around the Mediterranean, archaeologists have again and again found among the grave furnishings decorative chains and figures made of lapis lazuli – clear indications that the deep blue stone was already popular thousands of years ago among the people of Mesopotamia, Egypt, Persia, Greece and Rome. It is said that the legendary city of Ur on the Euphrates plied a keen lapis lazuli trade as long ago as the fourth millennium B.C., the material coming to the land of the two great rivers from the famous deposits in Afghanistan. In other cultures, lapis lazuli was regarded as a holy stone. Particularly in the Middle East, it was thought to have magical powers. Countless signet rings, scarabs and figures were wrought from the blue stone which Alexander the Great brought to Europe.

Lapis lazuli is regarded by many people around the world as the stone of friendship and truth. The blue stone is said to encourage harmony in relationships and help its wearer to be authentic and give his or her opinion openly.

Lapis lazuli is a rock that mainly consists of diopside and lazurite. It came into being millions of years ago during the metamorphosis of lime to marble. The small inclusions with their golden shimmer, which give the stone the magic of a starry sky, are not of gold as people used to think, but of pyrites. Their cause is iron. The blue colour comes from the sulphur content of the lazurite and may range from pure ultramarine to a lighter blue. At between 5 and 6 on the Mohs scale, this stone is among the less hard gemstones. When polishing this stone, one must handle it gently on account of its modest hardness.

As they did more than 5000 years ago, the best raw stones still come from the steep Hindu Kush in the north-east of Afghanistan. The lumps of blue rock, extracted from the inhospitable mountains by blasting, are brought down into the valley in the summer months by mules. Nature also created deposits in Russia, to the west of Lake Baikal, and in the Chilean Andes, where the blue rock often has white or grey lime running through it. In smaller amounts, lapis lazuli is also found in Italy, Mongolia, the USA and Canada, Myanmar and Pakistan.

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I was privy to an adorable moment while sitting and waiting for John to finish his canoodling with the Guam performers. The little teeny boppers above were instructed to stay off of the red carpet until she returned. The students’ consciousness of their red barrier lasted less than 30 seconds.

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On the last weekend of May I enjoyed a day trip north of the river to Dongdaemun for scrumptious yukhoe (raw beef) and jeon (mung bean pancake) with my Korean friend, Yoobin.

Yukhoe (pronounced ‘yook-way’) is a variety of raw dishes in Korean cuisine, which are usually made from raw ground beef seasoned with various spices or sauces. It is basically a Korean steak tartare. Usually the most tender part of beef is used. Yukhoe can be made with a variety of meats, such as liverkidney, or heart. The ingredients are thoroughly cleaned and salted, then rinsed and dried to remove unpleasant odors. Yukhoe is assumed to have been introduced from China into Korea during the Mongol conquests in Goryeo period, and was popularized in the Joseon era. Thin slices of tender beef are soaked to remove blood before being finely shredded. The shredded beef is then marinated in a mixed sauce of chopped spring onion, minced garlic, pepper, oil, honeypine nutssesame, and salt. Its dipping sauce, chogochujang includes chili pepper condiment mixed with vinegar and sugar that can be altered to taste with pepper or honey.

Meat in Korean cuisine has highly detailed classifications regarding freshness, quality, and part differentiation for specific cooking methods. Since yukhoe uses raw beef, freshness is the most important criterion. For yukhoe, it is recommended to use beef no more than one day after defrosting, and traditionally should not be aged more than one day after slaughtering. Regular Korean yukhoe customers often patronize trusted restaurants or butcher’s shops which have well-known, high-quality beef distributors.

Since 2004, the Korean Government has run the Beef Traceability System. This system requires ID numbers with the age of the Abanimal of origin, supplier, distributor, the beef’s grade, and butchering date and originating butchery. Most of the good beef restaurants in Korea list their beef’s information on the wall.

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Above: The Dongdaemun Design Plaza, also called the DDP, is a major urban development landmark in Seoul, designed by Zaha Hadid, with a distinctively neofuturistic design characterized by the powerful, curving forms of elongated structures. The landmark is the centerpiece of South Korea’s fashion hub and a popular tourist destination. The DDP features a walkable park on its roofs, large global exhibition spaces, futuristic retail stores and restored parts of the Seoul fortress. The DDP has been one of the main reasons for Seoul’s designation as World Design Capital in 2010. Construction started in 2009 and it was officially inaugurated on March 21, 2014.

The Samsung designed DDP has received mixed reviews. The futuristic design is a bit lost in the city where recent modernity meets tradition. Hundreds of local market owners were displaced in the process of clearing out enough space to complete the project, so the expectations were high. People wanted to see something that was worth removing their history, culture and market. The project was extended further than expected, and it is still a little unclear as to the purpose of the space. Personally, I thought it looked like a stylized UFO landing and that it looked neat enough, but my perspective was soured when I realized what was removed to make this modern structure possible.

Below: Funny shopping finds and traditional baby Hanbok.

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Inside the plaza, were many innovative, artistic products for purchase.

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Above: Testicle chair. Below: Patbingsu again! I can’t get enough!

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Recent Reads:

Anil’s Ghost is a Sri Lankan murder mystery. I highly recommend Comfort Woman, but do not read if you are already depressed, because it will take you to a lower depth. In this horrifyingly haunting realistic fiction, the reader follows a daughter and mother as they experience the history and consequences of being a sexual slave for the Japanese military. The novelist lyrically describes the PTSD associated with sexual trauma and depicts the hopelessness of a child living with a mother in the midst of psychosis. Whittington was my favorite by far. It follows the lives of two cats- one during the time of the Plague and one set in the present day midwest. The sensory depictions are detailed and spot on. The historical basis of this fictional tale adds to the learning experience. Finally, Joey Pigza Looses Control is a needed piece in our modern day diagnosis-obsessed times from the perspective of a young person with ADD struggling to decide if medication is right for him. The author artfully and accurately describes the symptoms as they would appear from the child’s perspective, affecting his personal, athletic and academic lives.

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Information from this blog was collected from: Wikipedia, www.myseoulsearching.com, Korean Tourist Organization, www.gemstone.org.

Jeju & Jimjilbang

In this blog I will discuss our most recent trip to Jeju Island in March, Chris and my day trip to a jimjilbang in Seoul, and the latest ferry tragedy near Jeju Island in April.

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Chris and I enthusiastically jetted off via airplane from Seoul (a 1-hour flight)  to Jeju Island for a 3-day retreat away from the polluted, motley mass of cement and structure, February 28- March 3. With a population just under 700,000, Jeju felt pleasantly spacious, compared to the constant jostling amongst the 12 million residents of Seoul (25 million including commuters Monday through Saturday).

Jeju Island, also known as the “Island of the Gods,” is a popular vacation spot for Koreans and foreigners. It remains the top honeymoon destination for Korean newlyweds, and is also regarded as one of the top honeymoon destinations in the world. Despite attempts to market the island as “the Hawaii of Korea,” climatologically and geographically it bears little in similarity to the Hawaiian Islands in the U.S. The island offers visitors a wide range of activities: hiking on Halla-san (South Korea’s highest peak), catching sunrises and sunsets over the ocean, eating island-specific delicacies, caving, shopping, and quirky museums, etc.

Although tourism is one of the main industries on the island, many of the hotels and other tourist areas are run by mainland companies, so much of the income never gets put back into the local economy. Also, since the attractions are geared towards tourists, many of the entrance fees can be hefty.

The local traditional culture stands in stark contrast to the mainland (and much of Asia) as being matriarchal. Stemming from this basis, and some odd tax reasons, the role of seafood gathering on the island has been dominated by women. As such, a common sight around Jeju’s coastline is that of the “haenyo” or “woman diver”, a figure that has become somewhat iconic of the island. They are often the heads of families, because they control the income. They earn their living from free diving, often all year round in quite cold water, without scuba gear, in order to harvest abalonesconchs, and a myriad of other marine products. In the early 1960s, 21% of women on the island were free divers, providing 60% of the island’s fisheries revenue. However, because of rapid economic development and modernization, as of 2014 only about 4,500 haenyeo, most aged over 60, were still actively working.

The Jeju economy has traditionally been supported by primary industry, agriculture and fishing, but tourism has taken a more and more important role as the island receives upwards of six million visitors per year. These are mostly Korean mainlanders, but through the opening of the 2010 decade, hundreds of thousands of Chinese tourists have been arriving and the number is increasing.

 Day 1: Friday February 28

The island has two cities: Seogwipo in the South and Jeju-si to the north. We stayed closer to the airport in the north because neither of us were eligible for an international drivers license, so we wanted to be closer to the action and to available transportation. Friday night we landed around 5:30 pm, checked into our very spacious hotel and wandered the bare streets. It was odd not being surrounded by traffic noises, bustling crowds, drunk men, skyscrapers, or street vendors. Everything was… just… quiet. Soooo quiet!

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For dinner, we enjoyed an island specialty of mackerel. I also enjoyed the sweet potato variety of banchan.

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Day 2: Saturday March 1

On Saturday morning we awoke to a persistent pitter patter of rain as it listlessly pelted our windows and the island. Instead of mirroring the dreary weather in our moods, we made the best of a rainy day. First, tea. Then lattes and reading at a coffee shop, Indian lunch, and shopping.

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These are our matching His and Hers designer frames, along with a bow ring that we purchased.

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In the evening, we braved the continueal downpour for one of the most notorious sites on the island- The SEX museum! XXX

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The statues/forms/figurines were expertly crafted and depicted a variety of sexual positions. What I was shocked to see, or rather not to see, was representation of ASIAN characters! Almost all of the humans depicted looked to be of European decent. There were only a handful of plump figurines (mostly men), and all of the sculptures represented the hetero-normative culture. I did not like that the very few fat women displayed were grotesque and portrayed in a comical way (this was not true for the pudgy men). While entertaining, the sexual scenes definitely perpetuated a standard that sexual identity exploration is saved for those beautiful, skinny, white, and straight, which as we all know, is just not the case.

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After our trip to the museum, we delighted in another island specialty: black pork! The Jeju Black is said to have a unique taste quite distinct from other breeds of pig and forms the basis of some well-known local dishes. The pork is smoked over burning hay allowing the smoke to penetrate the meat juices resulting in a flavour quite unlike regular pork and a meat that is somewhat chewier.

Until quite recent times, the pig was kept in order to dispose of human waste. They were housed in sties built below the outside latrines where their “food” was directly delivered. This practice was still current in the 1960s but has now given way to more conventional feeding. Some commentators are adamant that this change has adversely affected the taste.

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Day 3: Sunday March 2

On Sunday, we acquired a driver/tour guide for 8 hours.

First stop: Manjanggul Cave

Manjanggul Cave is the longest lava tube in the world. It is 5 meters wide, between 5 to 10 meters high and is over 13 km long. The lava tube, which formed about 2.5 million years ago, has been well preserved, revealing a splendid interior that is out of this world. Only one kilometer of its total length is open to tourists. In hindsight, I probably would have skipped the cave because it was damp and cold. After being rained out the previous day, I was more in the mood for sun and activity. Nevertheless, the cave was a creepy splendor.

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Second stop: Seongsan Ilchulbong Peak

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Seongsan Ilchulbong Peak rose from under the sea in a volcanic eruption over 100,000 years ago. Located on the eastern end of the island, there is a huge crater at the top. The crater is about 600m in diameter and 90m high. With the 99 sharp rocks surrounding the crater, it looks like a gigantic crown. While the southeast and north sides are cliffs, the northwest side is a verdant grassy hill that is connected to the Seongsan Village.

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The hike was definitely challenging, but the views from the top were so spectacular that it was worth it. One hilarious, albeit distracting component of the journey was being stalked by flocks of Chinese tourists. In Korea and many other countries that Chris and I have traveled to together, we have been photographed often. Usually, people want to pose with us, or just Chris, and giggle together, enjoying the novelty of the situation. The Chinese tourists, on the other hand, did not want to stand with us. Instead, they photographed us as if they were filming an endangered animal in the wild. Close up or far away, people pointed their lenses at us and started clicking. Some would even stand by us and have their friends take pictures. It was exhausting, yet cute. I am not a fan of the pictures out there of me heaving up the climb though. I now have a 1%,  understanding of what celebrities go through- the dehumanizing act of snapping someone in rare form. From the sociological perspective, that which was breathing life turns into a human commodity to be captured and displayed.

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Third stop: Lava Estuary

Below: This ancient lava estuary is a part of the area designated by UNESCO as a Biosphere Reserve. Most of the estuary is dried up, but you may rent a clear kayak and paddle around the clear water of the lower half of the estuary.

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Yes, that’s right y’all. Below you will see a Korean woman wearing 4-inch stilettos while peddling. This is not even shocking anymore.

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Fourth stop: Jeongbang waterfall

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On our drive back to the northern tip of the island, we rode through Mount Halasan. My favorite part of the ride was seeing snow for the first time in ages and the cool, fresh wind whipping against my cheeks.

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Day 4: Monday March 3

Monday we departed at 8 am for the airport and arrived back in Seoul just in time for work.

Jimjilbang: Saturday March 9

Before we went to the jimjilbang, I had a limited scope of what the entire experience would entail. I knew that genders were separated and spent a majority of the time naked in baths. I understood that there were saunas and that one could sleep overnight at a jimjilbang for very little cost, like a hostel in Europe. I had no idea what I was in for! In the simplest form, a jimjilbang is like an amusement park, spa, fitness club, mall, and pool all rolled into one. While pictured as relaxing, the journey through it was anything but.

In Korea, a Jjimjilbang is a place where one can not only enjoy the spa, shower, and sauna but also sleep overnight at an affordable price. They are a popular getaway for Korean families, couples, and friends. You can enter various heated rooms each designed with a particular theme. These are great places to sweat and relax. 

In a Jjimjilbang, you will also find many recreational facilities such as a snack bar, fitness club, PC bang, and noraebang (karaoke). Open 24 hours a day, Jjimjilbangs are easily accessible and offer a variety of activities.

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The Dragon Hill Spa where we went is an all-inclusive health and relaxation complex that is seven-stories high. On the underground level, there is an indoor golf range, a PC room and a video room. On the 1st floor, there is a common jjimjilbang area, an outdoor pool, a food court, a children’s playroom. The women’s sauna is on the 2nd floor, and the women’s jjimjilbang, massage, and esthetics, and locker room are on the 3rd floor. The 4th floor has a fitness center. On the 5th floor is the men’s sauna and locker room. The 6th floor has another men’s sauna and co-ed rooms for napping and resting. The rooftop has a barbeque, a cinema, and a garden. Dragon Hill Spa is one of the largest, most luxurious jimjilbangs in Seoul; first opening its doors to the public in October of 2006.

For visitors to Korea, going to a sauna can be a rather overwhelming if not daunting experience especially for the first-time visitor. Like any other public facility, there are some basic etiquette mannerisms that follow, and knowing them in advance will make you feel less clumsy and less-like a foreigner.

Before Going to the Sauna:

1. Bring your own toiletries. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, body or face cleanser, and most importantly a Korean essential toiletry called ‘ddae,’  ascrubber which you use to take off the dead layers of skin on your body. Some also bring a carton of milk, which they apply on their face. Milk is supposedly good for your skin.

2. Public Nudity-having the courage to do it and/or face it. This is not exactly like going to your local pool or health club, where you can wear your bathing suit or have your own personal shower with a curtain, but rather just the opposite.

At the Sauna:

1. Two small towels are given to you; one is for you to take in the sauna, either to wrap your hair in or to sit in the hot or wet sauna. The other one, you should save, for drying off BEFORE going to the changing room. Make sure to  dry off well when you go back into the changing room because if you’re really wet and track water in the changing room, the cleaning ajummas get angry. Most people just wind up wearing one like Princess Leia.

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2. GET NAKED completely and attempt to find the steam/pool room. While I am a very confident woman and love being naked, I was a little worried about being alone and not being able to read Korean. I had no idea where I was supposed to go or what to expect. I would love to go back with friends because I felt a little lonely with no one to talk to.

One of many aspects of Korean culture that I really respect is that ‘unaltered’ nudity is separate of sexuality. Nudity is a state of being, a part of humanity and is not sexual in any way. Women of all ages commingled between generations to cleanse the body and bond.

3. Upon entering the spa, no one noticed me at first, but after showering & scrubbing before entering the steam rooms or hot/ cold pools of water, I caught the attention of those passing by or in the pools with me. I’m pretty sure almost every Korean’s head exploded when they saw me nude:

“Oh holy alabaster! Fat! Blonde! Tattoos! Whore!”

 

Let me explain. The white, fluffy blondness I bet you can figure out on your own. Tattoos, although I only have two little ones on my ankles, are still pretty uncommon here. The next generation is changing this norm, but for now the adjummas still stop and stare. Finally, I thought about whether or not to discuss pubic hair on my blog, but it is so crucial in understanding the culture and the jimjilbang experience. In Korea, if a female shaves or shapes their nether regions, she is considered a prostitute, or at the very least a very promiscuous woman. A woman would only alter their pubic hair if she had a disease to get rid of (like crabs) or if she is a lady of the night. Due to globalization or just plain common sense, Korean women have started waxing, shaving, snipping and altering their private hair.  Because of this trend, they often refuse to go to the jimjilbang with their families once any alterations have been made in fear of judgement. I did my own thing and enjoyed myself thoroughly, despite a few glances my way.

Relaxing in the water was by far my favorite part of the day. I loved unwinding in the warm/ scorching/ cold/ bubbling waters. There were at least a dozen different pool options and one is free to move between them at any speed.

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4. Chris and I met up to experience the salt room, saunas and common area. Salt is supposed to help detoxify which actually increases the heat of your body and used as a scrub to loosen the dead skin.

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5. Next we entered a variety of rooms shaped like Navajo hogans. One was an ice room and the rest were varying temperatures of hot, meant to sweat out and cleanse the body. Most people just laid around and sweated with each other. There were far too many people for this to be relaxing for me. I also was bored just sitting there with nothing to read or eat. We could talk but the expectation is that one speaks quietly.

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6. After we had our fill of ‘sweating’ together (how romantic?!?), we entered the common area for the massage chairs and some Dip & Dots ice cream. We went on a Sunday… the worst idea ever. Unmonitored children were screaming and crying, WAY too many people were just lying around, and there wound up being a magic show timing to booming techno music next to the arcade. I personally would not be inclined to want to sweat with thousands of other people, only to communally watch a shitty magic act on one of my precious days off. Needless to say, it was an ‘interesting’ undertaking and I am glad I tried it. I left feeling a bit dirty and not relaxed. I want to go back with girlfriends next time.

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Recent Ferry Sinking 4.16.14

The morning after the listing ferry sunk, my classes were buzzing with concerned chatter about the peer-aged children trapped in the hull of the vessel. My children wanted to talk about it. They were antsy to express their horror and grief. I was initially surprised that the news of the capsized ferry hit many Koreans particularly hard, given that not more than one hundred miles from the border in North Korea, human rights violations and deaths occur daily without a word about it from the South Koreans. Upon further speculation, I realized that the event was not only traumatic for the parents and family members of the lost loved ones, but also for the plethora of those stunned around the country. My students were wide-eyed whilst exclaiming that their mothers had been at home crying all day. Mind you, these are not relatives or related persons to my students or their families.

Of the 476 passenger boat, only 172 were rescued. The rest are confirmed dead or still missing. Families are furiously up in arms about how long it has taken to recover the bodies. I conjecture that there are four major factors that contributed to the immense impact that this event has had on Korea: cultural expectations, emergency response, inconsistent and unmonitored ferry regulations & speculative government cover up. 

Before jumping ship, the captain had left a deeply insufficient third mate in charge. The captain and the third mate had instructed the children to stay put instead of braving the sea to try to save themselves. Thad Allen, the former head of the U.S. Coast Guard, said that two things needed to be done simultaneously: “Keep trying to save the ship but mitigate the risk to loss of life by preparing the passengers to abandon ship.” The error here was a non-existent, and thus not practiced, emergency plan or exit strategy. Also, the boat was carrying 3 times the amount of cargo than it should have been which is the fault of the ferry company. No one was present to hold the ferry company or captain accountable to meet load regulations. Furthermore, the boat was made in 1994, ironically the very same year that the international regulations on ferry structural requirements changed due to the high frequency of prior incidents of ferry tipping globally. So, this specific ferry escaped the needed foundational changes.   

I personally believe that if American children had been in the same situation, they would have revolted against the authority, organized themselves, and jumped ship. In Korea, Confusion values are core to the function of society and historically proliferate. Gender, age and professional rank matter very much in the decision making process. Self-reliance, independence, critical thinking skills, and problem solving are not attributes of acquisition amongst Korean youth. I am not in any way, shape, or form blaming the victims. Instead, I hope to lay the framework of understanding on how tragic the situation actually was, not just on the surface, but to a culturally-based, unfathomable depth.

With the aforementioned hierarchical norms, great responsibility is given to elders or authority to care for those under his or her control, anyone younger, weaker or marginalized. While each person may have their roes about gendered/age-related norms, try at least in this situation, to think of it as a checks and balances. Some give up power as those in power take on the solemn tasks of providing safety, security and resources. The fact that the captain and the third mate failed so miserably to adhere to the country’s structural expectation of responsibility makes the reactions all that much more  understandable. This was not just an unexpected accident of a slowly sinking ship, it was a massive, purposeful rejection of an honored duty to provide and protect, and so unforgivably shameful. 

Finally, irrespective of people’s political leanings, there have been some pretty scandalous reports during the current president’s term. The current president, Park Geun-hye, is the daughter of former president/dictator Park Chung-hee (1961- assassination in 1979). He was renown for modernizing and developing the country at a nearly miraculous rate, but was also culpable for imprisoning anyone who voiced opinions against him. The resident president, Park Geun-hye, has done a lot to restrict free speech, squash strikes, restructure education, and been caught in a couple lies. The most recent was reporting that there were 600 divers and 40 boats attempting to rescue those trapped in the ferry. The family members of those in the ship, who where miserably watching from shore, confirmed no such report. The pictures also do not capture a large rescue effort. Why would she even pretend to have an adequate disaster response? I can muster a couple educated guesses. One, Korea is a very ‘save face’ culture and does not like to experience shame, especially not on a large global scale. Two, and more importantly, Korea has expressed desire to limit the amount of international (aka USA) army presence. The USA has no intention of moving its perfectly positioned bases in Korea (within the Asian marketplace), unless Korea can prove its ability to manage on its own. This time they failed… terribly. 

The information for this blog was gathered from: Wikipedia, Gulfnews.com, english.visitkorea.or.kr, and The Washington Post.

 

Tour de Seoul: April 2014

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In this blog I will take you on a tour de Seoul. Like Minneapolis, Chicago, New York, and many other mega metropolises in the USA, Seoul is a burgeoning, expansive city with many burrows and districts. The following blog will be a journey of my April 2014 activities divided into the areas that I frequently venture to and around. My major motivation for this blog is to capture the timing and space between my daily activities, as well as show you the city with maps. The above photo is courtesy of Jesse Knipling.

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Life on the 13th floor. Not a fancy building or hallway. Not many in Korea are unless one is super wealthy. Nevertheless, I feel very safe and secure here. Recently, I accidentally left my door wide open all day because one of my shoes secretly served as a day-long door stop. Not a thing in my apartment had been touched.

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I live in a business district, so the views from my building are cement as far as the eye can see. Other areas in Seoul are much more residential with luscious greenery; however, I do appreciate the rooftop gardens, regardless of how few and far in between they exist.

Flyers like the one below taped into the door hinge are a common occurrence. Some advertisements are magnets. Usually its best to just leave the flyer where it is because if you are like me and have no shot in hell of being able to make it through an ‘ordering delivery’ phone call in another language, the solicitors or companies will return later and pick up the leftover flyers to clean up and reuse the unwanted ones. Hey, at least they recycle, right?

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Attached to my building is a 24-hour Mini Stop- think Super America or 711. This is magnificently awesome if I am ever in the need of late night for snacks, gum, alcohol, cleaning supplies, etc. This place also happens to be the only location where I can witness Koreans dressed down.

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Unfortunately there is major construction going on beside my residence. This makes for ugly wake up calls and a vibrating ground. Fortunately, Seoul is known for it’s speedy turn around. Demolition took about a week. The new foundation is already laid and support beams are going up.

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Welcome to my neighborhood! I consider Seocho-gu and Kyodae parts of my neighborhood. Gangnam- from the infamously sung Gangnam Style- is a 20 minute walk from my place. The A icon on the map indicates the whereabouts of my neighborhood.

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First stop is the Shinhan bank. Take a number, sit, and wait- the usual in Seoul. The bank is located up the hill and around the corner (1 block away from my place).

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Second stop, the Post Office. Take a number, sit, and wait. (2 blocks from my place)

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Above right: one example of ubiquitous street side munchies in the back of a truck. This one displays legumes and nuts.

Below, third stop, Kyodae University track (2 blocks away). These pictures were taken at sunrise, so only older adjummas and adjoshis who ‘mean business’ were there with me. If one visits on a weekend afternoon, the track is so packed it’s hard to keep adequate time on laps from all of the required weaving around any and/or all of the following: hand-holding couples, individuals stopped in the middle of the track to take selfies, children riding their tricycles, men throwing frisbees, baseballs or kicking soccer balls back and forth across the lanes, and high school track practice.

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Forth stop, Home Plus, the grocery store across the street from my apartment.

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Above left: fruits- extremely expensive. A box of strawberries is $10. Above right: dok (rice cakes) and kimchi. Below left: immitation meat including crab, hot dogs, and anything you can imagine that is overly processed with animal parts. Below right: fish section.

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A quarter pound of ground pork is $5. A quarter pound of beef is $10.

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Final stop in my neighborhood is Noraebang. Below, about 16 of us are out celebrating Andra’s 30th birthday.

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Most activities do not take place in my area, so I take the subway a lot! Every station is uber modern, clean, and efficient. I may have gained weight here, but my legs are strong because of the endless amounts of stairs. The many flat screens show news and commercials, as well as indicate what stop the train is currently at, and exactly how long it will take before the next train arrives.

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At the subway stations, one sees many advertisements, often times for cosmetic surgery, which is an epidemic here. The endorsement below is not for plastic surgery but I must assume that it states the following: “Why look different, when you could look indistinguishably like everyone else?” Now just imagine, millions of other similar promotions in the city with women all looking identical to one another. These are the not-so-subliminal messages that women get about what is acceptable in looks: one boy body type coming right up along with long brown hair, eye lid surgery, nose surgery, similar clothing accompanied by heels, of course. Obviously these women are part of a company and that is why they are dressed similarly (many employers require uniforms here), but in general, being unique is abhorrent in Korea. John, Andra, Brandon and I stood in front of this add for 5 minutes trying to determine if the girls were actually 6 individuals or just 1 person replicated 6 times. Upon very close inspection, there were enough minute differences to determine that they were ‘most likely’ separate individuals.

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I am now taking you north of the Han river to Itaewon-dong (a 20 minute cab ride or 35 minute subway ride with one transfer). The total  commute time is 45- minutes, including walking between stations. Itaewon is the foreigner district (where Chris worked) and the locale of my favorite English book store, What the Book? On the map, my home is in the southeast corner of the map, marked with the orange balloon figure. The letter A represents the location of Itaewon.

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A hop, skip and a jump over to Kyongnidong (a 15 minute walk from Itaewon) and I am able to visit my favorite kitties in Asia- Bri and Ben’s babes: Max and Kiomi. I like to call them Maxy pooh and Kikkers. I try to visit them once a month.

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In the far northwest section of the city (a 45-minute subway ride away with no transfer, 60-minute total commute) is Sinchon and Hongdae, the venue of my hair salon and one of my favorite bakeries in all of Seoul. My apartment is marked on the map with a purple bubble. The letter A denotes the Hongdae area. This area is known to be filled with college students, trendy restaurants, an artist and musician community, ‘safer’ havens for GLBT individuals, and galleries.

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Above, my hair dresser Lucy and I. She keeps me sane, blonde, and experimental with my hair cuts. By the way, Lucy is considered pleasantly plump here. If this is so, imagine what I am!?! Below, October Boulangerie. The selection of the day: lemon tarts and tomato basil focaccia bread.

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Hongdae is known for their pop up concerts featured below (I see one every time I visit), funny interpretations of English (Above: Nice to Meat U- A BBQ restaurant), and the somewhat scandalous. Condomania is the only sex store that I know of in Seoul. Trust me, I have asked around. Ellie refused to be seen with me when I asked the red, uniform-clad tour guides waving white flags in Hongdae (a free service) the location of Condomania. The store itself is ridiculously basic…all except the duck-in-bondage vibrator. NEVER ever have I seen something like that. I have been to 3 sex museums in different parts of the world and plenty of sex shops over the years to see the trends. This was unique to say the least.

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One Monday morning before work, Yuni, Andra and I went to Yeuido (a 25-minute subway ride with one transfer, a-35 minute total commute) to walk amongst the cherry blossoms. My apartment is located at the green icon. The letter A shows the Yeuido loop.

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Off to work we go. On the above map, my apartment is marked by the green symbol. My work is a 9-minute subway ride (20-minute total commute), or a 50-minute walk away. I usually walk home from work 2-3 times a week with my coworker John. I enjoy our conversations about life, learning, and social justice.

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Almost every morning, this is me, fitfully waking against all human desires to cling to my bed forever and ever like a blood sucking leech. I am NOT a morning person. I am not even an early afternoon person. Basically, I really hate the process of waking up, always have and always will. I am an overachiever academically, but I almost flunked out of one class in high school and a couple in college, purely from being late or absent, despite getting my work done and performing well on exams.

Chris used to go almost insane living with me because on average I press snooze about 10 times every morning. That is an average! “It’s my process,” I exclaimed! Anyways, Chris learned that putting a latte with a straw in my mouth actually did the trick! I can still be in bed while my mind gets radically ramped up. Once I am up, I am a positive penny ready to take on the world.

The world that I engage in 4 days a week is with my kiddos at Epsirit:

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Below left: An example for students to beware before entering my class. The lower paper says “Don’t write like this!” One of my messy student’s work has been attached to the door as an learning lesson for him and a warning for others. Below right: My Star Student Wall. Every two weeks, new students get added to the achievement wall. This wall can be for high scores, demonstrating excellent leadership qualities or for achieving personal bests.

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My two favorite students below: Stephanie, who drew me this adorable cat picture, and naughty, naughty, naughty Theo Puff.

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After work, every Thursday, my coworkers and I go out. We work in the very posh district of Apgujeong so we have plenty of trendy places and cuisines (Korean, American, European, Japanese, etc.) to select from. The only problem is that we get off of work at 9:30 pm and most kitchens close at 10 pm, so we have to scurry to pick a place. We have been in the habit of visiting a new place every Thursday since Brandon arrived. Before Brandon, we went to the same places for a year. lol. Seoga & Cook  is featured below. We ordered a salmon salad, mushroom pasta, and chicken bokum bap (stir fry).

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Below: Public House, Garosu-gil, Sinsa.

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I will take you farrrr north of the river this time to my FAVORITE area in all of Seoul: Insadong and Jogaesa Buddhist temple. Insadong is a 25-minute subway ride with no transfers, a 40- minute total commute, or a 25 minute $12 taxi ride from my apartment. April and May in Korea are the best months of the year because of the weather and plethora of festivals. The humidity is down, even though rainy season is knocking on the door. People are excited to be outside and the flora and fauna are blossoming swimmingly. The sweet scent of seasonal street food fills the air and heavy layers are replaced by sundresses paired with gossamery scarves. I love love love this area because is a a cultural and physical representation of how I personally experience Korea: the epic battle between tradition & modernity, structure vs. function, past and future. It is a place where all ages effortlessly commingle and where history is maintained.

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Buddha’s birthday is a nationally celebrated holiday in Korea and occurs every year around the 1st of May. In preparation for this spectacular event, lanterns adorn every temple and hang between light posts on almost every street. About 1/3 of Koreans ascribe to Buddhism. Another 1/3 practice Christianity and the final third do not partake in any religious activities.

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Below left: the view from the sky of the temple. Below right: lanterns collected for people to come and decorate with family and friends to later carry in the ginormous Lantern Festival parade.

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Above right: My favorite picture of the day- the juxtaposition of the precious, aged temple against the backdrop of the ever encroaching contemporaneity.

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Below left: The entrance of Insadong is marked by a monstrous calligraphy brush. Although Korea has its own language, the art of writing in Chinese characters is still a very beloved tradition. Many people have signature stamps engraved with their Korean and/or Chinese symbols made in this area. Insadong is the best place to find authentic Korean made goods, Korean food, street food, political protests, youth performances, hanbok (traditional Korean clothing), Korean Celadon pottery, jewelry stores, and of course cliche souvenirs.

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Above: A very popular Korean unique treat- twisted double sided ice cream cones and Korean nut-filled pasteries. Below: The inescapable Starbucks… even in the ‘traditional’ part of the city!

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Below: Some handmade, gorgeously-decorated cards. You may be getting one soon! Wink.

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Last stop, Gangnam for sushi and rooftop tea. I love this rosemary, lemon sprizter.

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You may wonder if I ever stay home? Actually, yes, most of the time. I love cooking, watching Frasier, reading, and having skype dates with friends and family back home. I was very proud of the first time I made tacos here. Now I can’t get enough and make them all the time, even though they cost a pretty penny in fresh produce! As you can see, I’m not a fan of cleaning dishes (those pictures are three separate occasions). In fact, it is the only chore that I truly hate doing. Why is it so awful? I hate touching potentially slimy remains and I don’t like hot water. Period. I don’t even like washing my hands or body in hot water. I will drink hot tea occasionally at work (because of my chronic sinus infection here due to the smog) or in the dead of winter, but I mostly prefer iced tea.

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The following are my most recent reads. The first three were for Espirit. All were decent, but none to rave about. Womp womp.

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Korean Microfashions: Winter Collection

I am by no means a fashion blogger, nor do I intend to be; however, I do appreciate fashion, I follow style in the West (not that I always adhere to trends) and more importantly, I am obsessed with my lil style icons that I work with everyday. The hagwon (academy) that I teach at is located in the Apgujong/ Gangnam area- one of the wealthiest and trendiest area of this 25 million-personed city. As you can imagine, many of the house mommies, or those fierce bitches who beat the odds and work to rake in the cash, love to accessorize their mini-mes. When some of the students shared with their mothers that they had  a teacher writing a fashion blog (this is not true), some of my students began showing up in Juicy Couture on the regular- I kid you not! The most popular brands are Abercrombie, Hollister, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Juicy and many on-the-rise Korean clothing brands that I have not acquainted myself with. Many of the famous American brands are super popular and ridiculously expensive here- thus, they bring in major status when it comes to appearances. Have I told you before that Korea is all about appearances, not reality? Yes. Yes I have. The figurative and literal implications of this particular mindset have no place in this blog.

In this blog, I intend to depict a few winter trends at Espirit Academy. I wish I had more pictures, but it is actually challenging to work in the time and trust with the kiddos to take photos in class or around the academy! You may be wondering why I have not done an edition on adult fashion? The main reasons are awkwardness and lack of opportunity. All camera phones in Korea make a sound when one takes a picture. There is no way to turn this feature off and it is actually a law because of the creepers who used to take pictures up women’s skirts (this may be a myth, but this is what I have heard). Therefore, taking a picture of an adult requires their awareness, and because I believe in the need to ask for permission, the ugly little head of language barrier rears its head again. Up until this point in time, I have avoided the heinous awkwardness of these potential interactions, but I may whip up the energy before I leave. We shall see…

Your second inkling may be related to taking pictures of students and their personal autonomy? First, there are no violations of code or order when taking a child’s picture at school or an academy and no permission is needed from the parents; however, coming from the West, I do respect the student’s choice… sort of. I had a conundrum considering this publication because even if I asked my students if I could take their picture, the majority of them would be suspended in the disillusioned median between the awesomeness of a teacher/adult letting them choose, and the knowledge that hierarchy always reigns here and they must select the option the elder person (me) wants. To avoid this complicated web of decision making where a student ungainly stares into the abyss of consideration, I just told the kids that I was taking their picture for a fashion blog and that they would be able to view the photos when I was finished. I also allowed each student to choose to cover her face if she wanted.

Without further ado, please enjoy my ridiculously adorable and seemingly-effortlessly stylish students:

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It’s All About the Fur

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Uber Girly Chic

I am often reminded of a 1950s housewife when I see my super girly girls in class. Everything in Korea is uber cutesie and this same level of ‘little girl’ adorableness translates to adults too- think rhinestone heals, Dorothy’s ruby red slippers, bows in hair, lace, pink, etc.

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The Minnesotan:

Plaid is Bad, but in an ‘Oh so Good’ Way

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Against all odds, the heinous monstrosity of crocs has crossed the big pond and suctioned themselves onto the lower paws of my minions.

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Early 2000s Velour Jumpsuits Still Reign

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But dear god, why? And in combination with crocs… an abomination! Many of the school uniforms are neon yellow sweat jumpsuits like these. I think the children are just conditioned to wear it during the day and simply slide into another shade for afternoon activities. Tragic.

Double Sided

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Sporty Spice

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Only two of the featured in this sporty section are girls. Frankly, there aren’t that many boys either, but the major difference is that boys/men in Korea have the option of choosing a look and being accepted with whatever their choice may be: sporty, hipster, gangster, traditional, preppy, tailored, etc. Girls/women have one option if they want to be accepted as normal (which everyone does in this collectivist culture): young girly chic, from 4- 44 years old. This is such an apt analogy for women’s progression throughout Korean society too- stalled at one expectation, one acceptable path, one ‘pleasing,’ immature, controllable look for life.

The Wannabe Kanye

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Miscellaneous Looks

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Get Your Kicks

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Even though these (above) are technically not heels (they are petite wedges), the girls are being groomed into wearing height from a young age. Koreans in general, even men, are obsessed with appearing taller. Men wear ‘confidence’ inserts in their shoes and have thicker soles to appear heightened. Women are expected to wear heels to appeal to men they are dating, to look fashion forward, and be appropriate at a corporate office (bosses will instruct their female employees to only wear heels). Even flats and tennis shoes in Korea have 2-3 inch platforms- far more than what is featured above.

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The ubiquitous Nike slip-on laceless tennis shoes. I only photographed 4 students wearing these, but I am sure there are at least 30 at Espirit. Props to Brandon for noticing the trend, far before I did.

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Eye Hardware & Accessories

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Hair Ware

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The Coupled Look

In Korea, being coupled is integrally woven into the fabric of modern day society. One can see this in coupled dinner options/restaurants, discounted on tickets for couples or groups, and in matching wardrobes. I did not know about this trend before coming to Korea and 11 months ago I was pretty darn excited to try out a look that Chris and I could both wear. This was a feat when you consider our size differences and the fact that even in the USA it is hard to fit our body types. The first day in May 2013 that I wore my set of the matching pair of custom tennis shoes, I knew matching wasn’t for me and that tennis shoes are wholly abnormal to wear for casual use. So for the proceeding 10 months our matching wares went dormant; however we reincarnated the look for Chris’s going away party!

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Matching frames, t-shirts, solids, and sneakers

✈ One ☯ One ♥ One ✈

It has been one year, one month, and one week since I left good ol ‘Murica and landed in the peaceful sovereign of the Republic of Korea. Against all superstitious odds, 2013, whilst living on the 13th floor, was by far the most fun, adventurous, and most growth-inducing year of my life as a person, professional and partner.

In this blog I will give you the 13s of 2013. I will hit on aspects of my previous 9-month review blog entitled My Korean Baby, published in October, by giving updates (nothings is repeated) on certain aspects of life that I adore and despise about living in this Eastern gem. Most of all this will be a conglomerate convergence of pros, cons, anecdotes, history, current events information, personal revelations, hopefully funny moments, and a look to the future. I will be back on USA soil August 1, 2014.  

Mantra of the last few months…

I will finish this year-review blog posting if it kills me. 

… at the very least, please humor me and read at least half and scroll through it all. I admit, it took heart and soul to finish this lengthy beast. 

One Year of Korea- Glass Half Full

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1) The job- the Kiddos

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Have I had stressful days at work? Yes. Have I ever felt burnt out? No. Do I doubt for one moment that teaching in some capacity is for me? No. This is the first year in my life that I never once had a sick day, despite being more sick than I have ever been before. If I even dream of calling in ill, I think of the cute, over-achieving little faces that peer at me every day, and crawl my tired ass out of bed. I freakin’ love my job!

My mom asked me, “What do you think your students tell their parents about you?” Hmmm… I think it might go a little something like this: I have a white, plump teacher with yellow hair (the term blonde does not exist here) from America who is obsessed with cats, gives out awesome stickers, and I never want to be caught alive without my homework. We can have a game day, ice cream party, spelling bee, pizza party, etc. if we work hard as a class and her room is always really really cold, so as a rule, I have to bring a sweater.

Below: 13 year-old Edward shows me his display of legos that he brought in to class to impress me. I have had Edward for over 1 year now and I love him 🙂

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One blistery winter day, I entered the classroom with a shudder. I felt a bit chilly because I had just come in from outdoors wearing a long sweater, no jacket, a hat, but no mittens.

“Teacher, are you cold?” Jenny asked expectantly, excited that she may have caught Teacher as the frosted one, for once.

“Yeah, a little bit. I forgot my mittens,” I replied.

“That’s okay teacher. Just put your hand in ‘rock’. That’s what I always do when I forget my mittens,” Jenny aptly advised.

Rock, of course, refers to the ubiquitously played ‘Rock-paper-scissors.’ Rock-paper-scissors is utilized all over Korea to make a range of minor to epic decisions. This game is seen as completely fair, final, and avoids any awkward analysis of what might be logical, hierarchical, or deserved solutions. Even business men decked out in expensive suits can be seen energetically throwing these hand symbols late at night over dinner or on the street. So now, every morning on my commute, with or without my mittens, I always think of Jenny’s succinct, yet perfect advice: just do ‘rock.’

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Above: Rambunctious Rachel and sassy Jenny display their cute teddy bear mittens. And on another day, Chris’s package from his mother arrived. The girls are sporting Chris’s winter boots, which take up half of their body size.

Some students like sassy Jenny can make me belly laugh, others take my breath away. The ingenuity and depth of imaginative introspection expressed in the following passage is impressive, not just because it is a 10 year-old boy writing it in his second language, but more importantly because his awareness gives hope for a culture where feelings expressed by the male gender are squelched:

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I felt the feelings of how handicapped people are indisposed. When I was in puberty, I felt that I was not a normal person and not special too. I was just an object of ridicule. And I could have chosen the extreme measure of suicide. There was great suffering in my heart, but not on the outside. Now I’m sufficiently satisfied in this life and thankful for my parents. 

-Harry

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Above: Elliot decapitates a Snowman donut.

One day I asked my students to tell me their dreams. Although they asked over a dozen times, I adamantly refused to give any further instructions. This is very challenging for Korean students, because they tend to lack creativity and a general ability to make decisions on their own. They are taught from a young age to produce whatever the authority figure asks of them. If they have no clear direction, they are often lost. I wanted them to live suspended momentarily in this feeling of discomfort and come up with something truly genuine. Here are their dreams, exactly as they were written. If there is a number beside the statement, it reflects how many students wrote this down, otherwise 1 is implied.

  • I want to be a designer (2)
  • I want North Korea and South Korea to be one (2)
  • I want no wars or fighting (3)
  • I want no children to be lost
  • I want no children to be starving (2)
  • I want people of the Earth to stop killing zebras, tigers, cheetahs, and other wild animals
  • I want to be a police officer because police can do anything
  • I want to be a boxer
  • I want to be a terrific doctor (2) because I can get lots of money (1)
  • I want to get a cell phone (2)
  • I want to eat lots of delicious foods (2)
  • I want to get a dog or cat (2)
  • I want to live in an amazing house, large like a castle (5)
  • I want to be a diplomat
  • I want to be a scientist
  • I want to be immortal (2)
  • I want to get a dragon
  • I want my family to always be happy
  • I want a brand new Nintendo X1,000,000,000
  • I want my family to stay healthy with many loves (2)
  • I want to be a judge
  • I want to be rich
  • I want to always be happy
  • I want to be a news announcer
  • I want to be a teacher
  • I want every wish of mine to always be granted
  • I want to be an athlete
  • I want to travel all over the world

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Above: Some depictions of the student’s dreams. Below: The sun and moon. Can you guess which is the sun? The red one. All over Korea, the sun is displayed in red. If you ever ask a Korean kid to draw the sun, they would immediately pick up a red crayon. A USA student would promptly pick yellow.

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The gender division in Korea is pervasive, persistent, and overall frustrating, especially as an educator. Time and again I have mentioned how my girl students try far harder that most of their male counterparts, but for what? Probably 70-80% of my girls will wind up as housewives, whether they want to or not. This proclivity towards achievement is squandered by cultural demands and lack of support for the female professional. The expectations of gendered norms begin young.

To test this notion, I asked my students (both boys and girls) to write a list of positive and negative aspects of each gender. Below is what they came up with. During this activity, one boy ask me if women can work out? In my flabbergasted attempts at a reply, I retorted, “Haven’t you ever seen women in the Olympics?” He nodded yes, but did not get the connection. I explained that women in the Olympics need to train, just like the male athletes. He then asked, “Sooo… can regular women train too?” Sigh… the belief about gender abilities starts young… real young.

One might argue, as did one of my students that some of these characteristics listed below are ‘natural biological differences’ between the genders. Perhaps some, but I would argue that the majority are not, especially after having been raised in the USA where being healthy, fit, strong, assertive, and in control as a woman are possible and preferable in many instances.

Positive Boy Traits

  • Boys have superior sports condition
  • Boys can memorize well and see roads
  • When boys fight with friends, they soon become friends again
  • They are brave
  • They are good at exercise (4)
  • They are strong (4)
  • They have lots of friends
  • Sometimes they are handsome
  • They can relish the games with which the girls are never allowed to experience
  • Their friends are friendly
  • Boys can wash their hair easier than girls

Positive Girl Traits

  • Girls have light and thin voices
  • Girls are very cautious and careful
  • Girls have the ability to talk well
  • They are kind
  • They are good at work
  • They have good handwriting (2)
  • They do not use lots of energy
  • They concentrate well (3)
  • They like to hear, “You’re pretty!”
  • Almost all girls are good at studying
  • Girls are good at making things (like clothes)
  • Girls are not as noisy as boys in the classroom

Negative Boy Traits

  • Boys can get into trouble easily because boys’ personality naturally cause trouble a lot
  • Boys are not superior at talking
  • Boys have very low voices
  • Boys fight too much (2)
  • They are too fast (?)
  • Their handwriting is almost always awful (2)
  • They cannot cook well (2)
  • Their rooms are dirty
  • They smoke
  • Their concentration is terrible so the teacher punishes the boys
  • Several boys do not pay attention to their teacher
  • They are noisy

Negative Girl Traits

  • Usually girls don’t have loud voices
  • When they are adults, they are smaller than boys
  • Girls like shopping or decorating things
  • They are weak (3)
  • They are not good at exercise (this very student asked me if women ever exercise?!?!)
  • They are not brave
  • They have a maximum of 5 friends
  • In history, women do not have power
  • Girls have to tie or decorate their hair
  • Excellent girls have to help the teacher because girls can help solemnly
  • They are noisy when it is a group of only girls
  • It is harder to wash hair for girls than for boys
  • They like to by many things while shopping.

2) Access to Asia

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I LOVE traveling! So far we have traversed Cambodia, Thailand, the Philippines and Vietnam. Highlights that I did not mention in my October blog include our couples’ massage and cooking class in Chiang Mai, Thailand, our island tour in Ko Phi Phi, Thailand, and the day spent on the catamaran in Cebu, Philippines with some of my favorite people. Please refer to my former blogs if you missed any of these details. Our most recent travels brought us to Hanoi, Vietnam. Chris, Laura and I agreed that the best part of the trip was kayaking in Halong Bay, basking in the peaceful serenity of the impressively striking surroundings.

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3) My Espirit Family & Affiliated Friends

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I still adore, admire, respect, and laugh with my Espirit crew. My Espirit family and friends include the children, my coworkers, boss, principle, and all of the people dating, friends with, or business-affiliated with anyone our group. I would estimate the total around 60 people, minus the children. I feel closest to about 10 of them, and enjoy seeing everyone else. This is the first work environment where there are micro-frustrations between people, but no clicks, no retaliation, no separate competing factions. In addition, for the firs time in my life, I have a solid group of friends, not just so many factions that I attempt to blend. The diverse array of individuals already effortlessly meld together.

In Seoul, Halloween is a spectator’s sport. Koreans come to the foreigner district to watch all the crazy foreigner’s dress up. They take a plethora of photos with the same intensified curiosity as a National Geographic photographer would while filming an undocumented species mating for the first time. The moment we stepped out of the cab, Chris was encircled with a gaggle of people wanting to take pictures of him or with him. He was dressed as the joker in a chef uniform with a bloody fake cleaver. It took us at least 30 minutes to languidly walk two blocks because there were lines of individuals/groups waiting take photographs. Chris LOVED the attention and soaked it up! I finally left him in the dust of fame to go eat with my friends.

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4) Public Transportation

As I stated previously, I ride subways, buses, and taxis. I love that I can walk out the front door of my apartment building and within an average of 30-90 seconds, hail a taxi to wherever in the city that I want to go.

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Subway Ridin’

5) Growing our Relationship

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Chris’s work schedule has been absolutely insane since October. New inexperienced management wreaked havoc at the Canadian restaurant where he was a cook. They reduced Chris from 5 days a week to 4 days a month! In the need for more hours, Chris began a second part time job as a head chef and teacher at an academy in Gangnam. He instantaneously connected with the staff at the new job and enjoyed the little kids who love petting him while stating the obvious, “black.”

Meanwhile back at the restaurant, waitresses, cooks and bartenders were dropping like flies because they either got laid off or couldn’t take the new bitchy regime that was stressing the bottom line at the expense of food quality and quality service. Thus, the owner was forced to come crawling back to Chris, pleading for him to become head chef at the restaurant. Chris agreed to take the position for the culinary experience it would give him, but adamantly refused to quite his part time job because he had little faith that they wouldn’t stab him in the back like they did to everyone else. Abruptly, Chris began working 5- 7 days a week for weeks on end.

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Despite the heavy workload, our relationship has continued to grow in unique ways. On one of our many date nights, we met at a restaurant after work and unbeknownst to us, we wound up wearing the exact same outfit! A week later, we made the same exact facebook post within minutes of each other.  We can now complete each other’s sentences and we still enjoy teasing each other mercilessly like an old married couple. While relaxing, we have been catching up on a few of our favorite shows: Moonshiners, Chopped, and Top Chef.

Chris’s skin condition is still present, to his chagrin, and is one major reason why Chris will be returning to the USA before me, on March 11. My parents found a radically effective topical treatment that at least minimizes the symptoms and impedes the spreading. The condition is stable and much less severe than before- no more chocolate boy pealing his exoskeleton. The experience of living together for the first time in a tiny space while dealing with medical issues has taught me that I need more patience and compassion. Despite my shortcomings, I am proud of being a dedicated partner who always looks for solutions and is committed to maintaining romance, communication and understanding in our relationship.

6) Korean Food

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Korean food options are endless and endlessly delicious. I feel very blessed to have developed a relationship with a Korean woman who I teach private lessons to that has a fondness for eating. She loves to take me to lots of different places just to get my reaction to the food. Free food, a cultural endeavor, and terrific company… yes, please! On this particular occasion, we drove 45 minutes out of the city to the base of a mountain. There, not one foreigner could be found. I felt like I was getting the insiders scoop on traditional Korean culinary fare. We ate Jun (seafood kimchi pancake), salad, Jukume (spicy octopus/seafood sauté) and icy Muksabal soup. Muk is a generic term referring to a starch made from grains, beans, or nuts such as buckwheat, sesame and acorns that have a jelly-like consistency. Such foods have little flavor on their own, so muk dishes are seasoned with soy sauce, sesame oil and chopped scallions, and mixed with various vegetables.

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7) Multifarious Activity Options

On lazy days or nights where we stay in, Chris and I like to use Korean masks to help treat our pollution-laden skin. Almost all masks here come in sheets… that don’t exactly fit Chris’s face correctly; however, they are super effective! lol

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Below: One random Saturday, after teaching an adult class, John and I ran into all the Kakao talk (smart phone application for international/national free texting) emoticons in Gangnam! That is a peach, not a butt! I had thought it was a butt face all year!

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Below: Seoul Design Festival, attended by Chris, Laura, John and me. DSCN5309 1526672_10100499533318047_148877962_n DSCN5349DSCN5366 DSCN5320 DSCN5344 

Gyeongbuk palace the morning after fresh winter powder.

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Traditional tea at a hannok Tea House in Insadong.

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Euro-American style breakfast at Flying Pan in Gangnam.

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Ice skating on Seoul Wall Street.

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Smoking hookah at the Rainbow Lounge in Gangnam with Laura, Chris, Ellie, John, and Jesse.

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Ice Sculpture Museum with Laura in Hongdae.

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BBQ dinner with about half of the teaching crew.

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Hello Kitty Cafe in Hongdae.

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Namsan Tower (highest viewpoint in Seoul) with Ellie, Laura, Jesse and John.

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8) Time to Read & Write

I went on several informational interviews with previous English teachers in Korea before I moved to Seoul. I wanted to know all the possible trials and tribulations that lay ahead of me. I wanted to hear real advice from people who had gone before me. One piece of information bestowed upon me was to revel in my personal time, to reflect, meditate, and feel free of the many obligations that await me upon my return. This nugget of kind advice has been in the back of my mind ever since.

This year, I have been reading books, articles, and watching documentaries none stop. I feel indebted as an educator to be constantly learning and to acquire as much knowledge as I can about the world around me. Some people may have found me to be a bit of a recluse at times when I get on a high of reading or writing because I completely stop going to nighttime activities for a few weeks; however, I try to remain balanced and true to myself… whatever that cliche means.

On my time off, I choose to peacefully graze English bookshops with seemingly boundless time, searching for the next page-turning jewel to curl up with. In the past 13 months, I have forced myself to write, even when I don’t want to, for multiple reasons. One, I deeply regret not writing when I traveled through 10 countries in Europe. Two, I want a time capsule and reflection on my cultural/educational experiences while here. Three, I don’t want to have to explain this to all of you when I get home! Just checking that you are still paying attention ^^

Here are some of my recent reads. I would highly recommend reading A Single Shard, The Bookseller from Kabul and A Gesture Life. These three changed my heart in different ways, each written with depth of characters and range in diction. A Gesture Life is an incredibly introspective portrait of an ethnic Korean man who was raised and fought for Japan, but lives most of his life as an immigrant in the USA. I liked this one best.

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9) Restaurant Etiquette

Dining at a traditional Korean restaurant is an experience in and of itself. It is freakin’ awesome for so many reasons!

First, it is cheap- a dinner time meal, where afterwards you may have to be gluttonously rolled out the front door like Violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because you are so full, can cost as little as $8 per person (alcohol included). No tip. No tax.

Second, with every meal comes banchan (side dishes) with as many refills as you desire. The side dishes vary at each establishment, but can include kimchi, seaweed, soup, fish, pickled radishes, bean sprouts, etc. This way if you still want to go out with friends, but don’t have the cash or you just want to drink and not eat, you can still nibble on something at the table.

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Third, everyone shares everything. At first I thought I wouldn’t like this because I am very territorial over my food, but I LOVE this tradition because you get to try so many different dishes at once and there is no awkwardness or need to ask others if you can do so.

Forth, the portion sizes are hearty and contain heart healthy ingredients.

Fifth, there is a bell on every table to ring when you need the waitress. This is ingenious. It should be in every single restaurant in the United States. It is best for the garcon and customer. Imagine, not having to wait for a server to come in your area in order to flag them down while your food gets cold. As a server, it either buzzes directly to them to let them know that they are needed or bings lightly above the table. The entire atmosphere is efficient, communal, and tasty!

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10) Planning Trips  

If anyone knows me personally, he or she knows that I am a planner and an organizer. Planning trips is the perfect past time for someone like me and has kept me perpetually busy all year.

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Chris and I are planning a 3-full-day romantic getaway to Jeju Island, Korea February 28- March 3. While on Jeju we are going to be trying some local delicacies like seafood hot pot and horse tartar, going to museums, hiking along the cliffs, posing under at least one waterfall and just genuinely enjoying couple time in the outdoors.

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Next, tentatively, is a trip to visit my friend and mentor Carly in Taiwan in July right before returning to the USA. I have not booked tickets, figured out dates, or confirmed all details and expectations with Carly yet, but I will keep y’all posted on this one.

11) Being ‘Special’ as a Foreigner

I like being in a calm, controlled, predictable environment where ironically, I am not expected to conform to the norm. I touched on this topic slightly in a recent blog about my friend Laura visiting Seoul. Korea is a collectivist culture, which means that the focus is on the group, not the individual. Evidence of this can be seen in every day life. Koreans are not rule breakers. They ask permission instead of forgiveness. Americans do the later. Being a deviant from any kind of norm is feared and avoided like the plague.  This can be wonderful because it promotes stability, lack of fear, less violence, respect for elders, order and control, an ease to every day life; however, it diminishes creativity, hinders individual expression and forces an entire culture to lack critical thinking skills and problem solving abilities.

Being a foreigner in Korea has been the best of both worlds for me. As a person with anxiety, having an expected crowd and culture to move amongst is quite relaxing. People in USA are aggressive, opinionated, and seemingly constantly ready for confrontation. In Seoul, if I do something wrong or don’t feel like following the ‘rules’ that day, I am forgiven because I am a ‘silly’ white foreigner. I actually really like the collectivist consideration for one another. I am not looking forward to moments of individualistic, selfish and entitled yearnings of the West back in the USA, most likely because it will be overwhelming for me to process and I will no longer feel special as one who is ‘allowed’ to do as I please.

Surprisingly, no one has ever asked me about the severe language barrier here. I learned enough Korean to order at restaurants, communicate in a taxi, and say and understand cliché phrases like hello, goodbye, thank you, a few expletives, etc. Other than that, it really has not been a problem for me. If anything the lack in ability to communicate verbally has pleasingly simplified my life. If I ‘need’ or ‘want’ something, I have to consider the strength of this desire in the context of the effort involved in getting it done. This ‘burden’ has allowed me to brush things off my shoulder and live more modestly.

I absolutely love not knowing what people are saying around me. This sounds strange, I’m sure, but so often in America, I would find myself easily irritated by stupid, mindless, opinionated, ill-informed chatter that seemed to be the norm. Here, I feel like I am pleasantly in my own world for a lot of the time. I put on my sunglasses, pop in my ear buds, and walk with the bustling crowd as I observe the animated world pass me by. I get my English fill through teaching and all my friends.

12) The Expat Community

Despite being an obvious extravert, I am apprehensive in large crowds and restless when meeting new people in grand venues. The great thing about the expat (for the context of this blog, an expat is someone who lives and works outside of their home country) community is that the vast majority of the people I meet are cultured, educated, globally concerned, energetic, full of adventure, kind, open-minded, curious, and inviting. The people I have met here lust for novice experiences, foods and conversations. Politics, feminism, religion, relationships, delicacies, language… all of the above is on the menu for discussion or experience. Many newcomers, including myself at one point, were pleasantly surprised at how quickly one is welcomed, invested in and cherished as a member of an ideological and physical group.

13) Not Wanting to Leave…

For the twelve previously stated reasons, and I’m sure so many more, I do not want to leave this beloved country. I have so much opportunity, love, excitement, learning, and growth in my life right now. How can I just cut it short? Korea has and will always have a hefty chunk of my liberal bleeding heart.

One Year of Korea- Glass Half Empty

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1) Treatment of Women

I could, and potentially will, write a book on my experience as a second-class citizen as a woman in Korea. This topic infuriates me, depresses me, scares me, but mostly impassions me to work for female societal progression throughout the world. The truth of the matter is that I can escape any time I want and fly back to a much freer, albeit still unequal, USA and forget this ever happened. But I won’t. I couldn’t live with myself if I tried. The Korean girls in my class who work their asses off can not escape that boys get called on first, get a huge chunk of their parents resources and attention, can be interrupted by a male of any age at any time and just have to deal with it, and will most likely, despite all their hard work to become career women, be stuck at home raising children that they may or may not want.

Feminism in this day and age is about choice and equal options. If a woman wants to be a stay at home mom, then awesome! Go for it! Korean women do not have this choice. They will be a family shame if they do not produce an heir and satisfy their husbands. The irony is men treat women as objects here, not equal partners, and are almost always ‘mama’s boys.’ How does this work? The woman he marries will most definitely become a Mom.

For those few who do make it to a company like LG or Samsung, they suffer horrendous adversity, harassment and a thick glass ceiling. Few, if any, women reach high-level positions within these companies. There are no daycare services here, so one must send the child to be raised by a grandmother (only on the mother’s side, because the husband’s mother is only willing to maybe care for a boy child). This is what my uber successful hairdresser has had to do since she opened her own fancy salon.

A dear friend of mine, who will remain nameless, is subjected to commentary about her physical body and wardrobe choice, unattractive ‘assertive’ personality (she is a mouse compared to me), her lack of being feminine enough (she is super girly), her unlikelihood of having a successful family life due to her choice to work, and so much more that I simply do not have the strength to write because it is so heartbreaking, at one of the aforementioned global companies. She has no resource to protect herself because she works in HR and if she makes a comment it will put a personal stain on her resume for life (people talk). She will be viewed as a fussy, complaining bitch that couldn’t hack it in the industry. It wasn’t made for women anyway according to Korean culture. Women are good at looking pretty, doing service jobs, and nurturing children so that they can follow in the exact same mindless steps as their parents. AHHHHHHHH

I haven’t even skimmed the surface yet. Some more anecdotes to come include advertisements for gyms that satisfy Korean women that must include women without muscles, a woman who convinced her husband to get a vasectomy after too many kids by offering a Lexus, and women at work who wear pants appear to be trying to pretend to be a man and thus shaming their bosses.

2) Pollution

Pollution has become an ever present, grey, ghostly umbrage lingering over the city of Seoul reaching it’s slovenly, illness-laden talons down amongst people’s health, options for daily activity, and manifesting in acidic rain. When I blow my nose, it isn’t always green or clear… often, it is grey. This has only been the case for me in Korea. I have at least two other coworkers who can confirm a similar experience. The principle at school often seriously advises us not to walk the 2.5-mile trek home because it may ironically be ‘bad for our health.’ December and January were particularly languorous months for me. I figured that it was just the inevitable rearing of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), otherwise known as seasonal depression. After visiting a physician, it turns out that I have 5 times less the amount of vitamin D than I am supposed to. Thanks to the city life, working indoors and outdoor activities inhibited by smog, I have for the first time in my life, had a lack of sun.

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According to the Chosunilbo newspaper in Seoul, toxic Smog from China engulfs Korea on a daily basis. The concentration of ultrafine particles is often at its worst between December and March, with most of the smog comes from Beijing and surrounding Hebei Province.
The smog crosses the West Sea and reaches the Korean peninsula anywhere between six hours and a day later. Meteorologists say the smog is diluted as it crosses the West Sea, but 40 to 50 percent still reaches Korea.

Winter smog carries more ultrafine particles and is more hazardous than the sandstorms that blow over here in spring. According to the National Institute of Environmental Research, around 20 to 30 percent of sandstorms consist of ultrafine particles, but smog contains 60 to 70 percent.
Dust can cause asthma and other respiratory illnesses as well as cardiovascular diseases, but the most hazardous substance is ultrafine particles that are not filtered by the bronchial tubes and directly enter the lungs, where they can cause pneumonia.

Smog also contains toxic heavy metals such as lead, cadmium and arsenic. “Unlike sandstorms, smog contains various chemicals and heavy metals that react with the sunlight and multiply,” said Chun Young-shin at the Korea Meteorological Administration.

The Chinese government does not reveal data about the origin of pollutants, but the most polluted parts of China are along the east coast, which is near Korea. Chung Bok-young at the Environment Ministry said the Korean government hopes to gain access to Chinese data while offering to share clean fuel technology with China, but it will take some time before the trilateral group can be formed, which is difficult given current political tensions and historical traumas on all sides. “The only thing we can do right now is to try to predict exact smog levels and prepare to deal with it as best we can,” said a KMA official.

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At least it isn’t as horrific as China… where one can see pollution from outer space and where the sunrise needs to be broadcast on a gigantic screen in the morning for all to see (featured in the above shots)?

3) Health Concerns

When I moved to Korea, I lost 15 lbs and then gained them back. I am still working on consistently incorporating exercise into my weekly routine. I have been keeping a food journal and eating better though! I have completely stopped smoking. I smoked for 7 weeks… dirty, disgusting, nonpareil stupidity. As I stated above, I do have a severe lack of Vitamin D and I am now taking supplements and feeling much better. I have sustained a seemingly continuous sinus infection while in the ROK, for which I have developed a characteristic inurement to. I tend to have a unique ability to cope surprisingly well with painful physical ailments. For example, in Europe, I traversed 11 countries with glass shards uncomfortably ensnared in my foot. I only got them removed when I returned to the USA.

Unfortunately, I have suffered yet another weird foot condition. When my friend Laura was visiting, I was wearing a non-routine set of boots and stepped oddly on my foot. Since then I have felt sharp shooting pain in the main pad of my foot near my toes every time I step as I am walking. I have been x-rayed, had blood work done, and taken anti-inflammatory medications- nothing! No stress fracture, no arthritis, no sign of tendonitis, and yet the pain persists…

4) Korean Bathrooms

Seoul is the 3rd largest city in the world, incredibly modern and high tech, yet the bathroom experience in Korea has been very anxiety provoking and frustrating for me. I had no idea how much I cherished the comfort and convenience of reliable, consistent and available restrooms. There are a multitude of distresses when it comes to using the bathroom in Korea. Warning! My ensuing complaints come from a base of pure privilege from my lived experience in the USA.

First, will there be regular toilets or squatters? I refuse to use squatters unless it is an absolute emergency. Unlike many Koreans, I find it incredibly difficult to balance on my haunches while trying desperately to get ‘everything’ to go where it should. Luckily in Seoul, 90% of the time, one will be able to fine European-style toilets. This is NOT the case when traveling outside of Seoul.

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Second, most restrooms are unattached to the actual establishment one is visiting. For example, I might be at a cozy BBQ restaurant and want to excuse myself to quickly use the bathroom. It is the dead of winter and I will have to traverse outside to an external building through chilling corridors to get to a toilet. Not only is the process laborious and shocking to the physical self, but is also confusing and detrimental to my prior ebullient mood. Oh, and the bathrooms will either be freezing cold with no heat in the winter or ridiculously toasty in the summer, with no AC. In the final effort to destroy all previous equanimity, only after relieving myself, will I tragically realize there is no toilet paper. Thus, I return to the table shivering, lost, with wet panties and a sour mood.

Third, Korea does not supply toilet paper in the bathroom, at least one cannot guarantee this. Starbucks and movie theatres seem to be the only reliable places. Therefore, I must carry extra tissues for emergency in my purse.

Forth, the sewers are not strong enough to support the paper waste. Therefore, one is suggested to throw all toilet paper (including piss, poop, and blood-laden pieces) into a receptacle inches from the toilet as one sits, or possibly balances awkwardly, to do his or her business. No thank you!

5) Being Financially Challenged

Being financially challenged has been our own doing. We haven’t been flagrantly irresponsible with our money. We simply, yet mindfully, chose to use it to travel. When in Korea, do as Koreans do- spend selfishly. As of February 1st, six months later, we finally paid off all of our trips (Cambodia, Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, and Chris’s return ticket to the USA ≈ $9,000). I still owe money to my father, which I will repay when I return to the USA. February and March we decided would be savings months for Chris’s ‘rebuilding life’ money in the USA. April, May, June, and July I will use to build up savings for my own return to the homeland.

Due to recent relational trauma within the last 2 weeks (which I will describe in more vague detail later on- oxymoronic- I know), we have been ‘treating ourselves’ as a couple and spoiling me: perfume, diamond necklace, sushi date, fancy cocktails, hair, makeup, eyelashes, stylish ear buds, etc. As Donna and Tom from the acclaimed TV show, Parks & Recreation, would say: Treat Yo Self.

6) Living in a Jail Cell

Just a reminder for those who forgot, our room is a 10 x 10 ft studio with a 4-foot hallway that has a 2-burner kitchen and a washing machine across from the tiny bathroom. The bed (which is a futon taped to a single bed) takes up 60% of the space. Chris is 6’8’’ and neither of us are petite persons. Basically, we have been on living top of each other for the past 10 months.

I like to keep the AC blowing on me directly in the night. He prefers the heat fan. I relieve myself quietly; he tries to blow up the building to pieces with explosiveness. I cook lightly with grape seed oil or butter. He likes all things fried. He is a morning person. I am not. You could see how these few differences would cause minor tensions to arise, yet surprisingly we actually live well together. We always dish about our days together, enjoy watching our favorite TV shows, gossiping, cuddling, and the basic silliness.  IF (and that’s a big if) our relationship continues, we plan to get a two-bedroom apartment and a cat together in Minneapolis a few months after my return.

Unfortunately, just after my last ‘review posting’ in October, we had a terrible bout with black mold that had developed and spread rapidly within two months. Chris had to throw away some furniture, bleach and then wash everything in the apartment. Thankfully, we are now safe.

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7) Missing Christmas & the Minnesotan Winter Wonderland

There is nothing that compares to the magical, shimmering, silent crispness of the first heavy snowfall of the year. The birds are South. A fire crackles in the hearth. Plumps of snow fluff off occasionally from evergreen eves as the icicles begin to form along the edges of the home. Ornaments of meaning reflect resplendent memories and family ties as they hang perilously onto the verdant tree as kittens pass friskily undertow. The scrumptious odor of cookies baking and sound of Perry Como make the mood cozy and tight. Christmas Eve at Grandmas is full of boisterous voices, a spread of food offerings, and candlelight midnight mass. All of that was missing this year. Although I was tremendously blessed with my best friend’s presence for Christmas, Christmas in Seoul did not feel like Christmas at all. I spent it with friends eating, seeing a movie and smoking hookah.

Conversely, a reprieve from the arctic blast that Minnesota has been devilishly delivered and continues to be delivered this year is mostly a blessing. Although I am not able to take part in snow days, or snow at all for that matter, I take a moment to parallel “missing work,” from the incredible 1999 cult classic Office Space, to “missing a Minnesotan winter.”

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.

Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been *missing* it, Bob.

Walking to work in 20-45 degree Fahrenheit weather all winter has been lovely. Here is a look back at the past 2-3 years of Minnesotan winters… that I ‘kinda’ miss in the cozy-looking-from-the-inside-out-onto-the-picturesque-white-winter-land-but-don’t-have-to-go-to-work-or-shovel-or-freeze-my-ass-off kind of way:

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Love you mom and dad and I definitely missed the ceremonial putting up of Christmas decorations and our ‘special box’ ornaments with Bing Crosby singing in the background. Mom and dad avert your eyes momentarily to the italicized portion… my parents taste level and gaudy tackiness when it comes to Christmas decor in no way reflects my aesthetic point of view; however, it does feel like and look like home to me, so I missed it desparately! 

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8) Missing American Food Options

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My cravings are odd, varied, and random. I miss specialty sushi rolls. While the sashimi is actually fresher and grander in quality of selections, the rolls are almost non-existent here. I am lavish in my sushi desires, so I feel like I am missing out on some of the most indulgent options. I miss warm cornbread with butter melting in the middle. Not one day has passed where I haven’t dreamed of biting into a bulging burrito from Chipotle. Multiple people have actually messaged me this year to let me know they are thinking about me while eating at Chipotle. This fills me with such feelings of rage, jealousy, yearning, and contempt towards these persons for even making me remember this delectable treat that I am thousands of miles from. However, moments later, I consider their pure consideration of me kind and I am briskly brought back to reality.

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Nevertheless, I do miss ice water, garlic mashed red potatoes, sriracha sauce and the most mouthwatering combination that no one else I know has ever thought of- cornflakes and blue cheese. Don’t knock it till you try it. I miss blue slushies from the gas station that I never purchased back home, but will devour upon return. I miss butter and cheese that is less than $10 and any available frozen pizza. Ovens are not used in Korean cooking, so I desperately yearn to bake beats, homemade pizza, meatballs, tarts, etc. I hate tiny one-sized french fries portions that are the equivalent to a small fry at McDonalds and then I am double bitch-slapped when they assume one packet of ketchup will suffice. Ohhh hell no! To further degrade the eating and drinking experience, lattes start at $5 and a pint of ice cream at $8.

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9) Sensory Overload

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10) Paleness & Straightness

I am as white as the alabaster wall in my apartment. I think I am actually almost translucent at this point. I have never been paler in my life and I do not like it for the most part. “For the most part…” I am the ideal skin color here (which is a mind fuck in and of itself because of course all Koreans have a yellow or tan tint to their skin naturally), yet I find myself still yearning to have a healthy tan and rosy cheeks, kissed every so gently by the sun. The worst part about being white is the cultural obsession to maintain an unhealthy objective: skin bleaching masks (some which have caused permanent irrevocable damage to its victims who abused the products), summer parasols, and the constant application of sunscreen are ubiquitous here.

The color of one’s skin throughout modern history, and potentially even before, is actually a social construct- not only highly thrusted upon society by the media-marketing evildoers, but also by the desire for status. In Korea, being white means that you are not from the country, do not have to have hard labor jobs, have modernized. Alternatively, in the USA, being tan is a sign of privilege- being able to take off work, escape to cabin weekends, leisurely partake in boating or sunning activities, or invest in fake and bake orangeness. Being white indicates a factory, office, or other more restrictive job. People pay to maintain the status they want to project, either consciously (in Korea) or more subconsciously (in USA).

Whiteness of 2014:

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The Bronze of 2010:m

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As I stated in my October blog, I have felt self-conscious here because, although my skin is their definition of beauty, my size, my voluptuous hair, and style cut across the grain. No one is rude to me because of this but I definitely sense the ‘otherness’ of my look. I want to see people that are fatter than me, fluffy, with a variety of looks, yet still considered stylish and beautiful. I want to be in a place where individual style is appreciated and reigns over monotonous uniformity… long straight hair, straight bodies, and straightforward fashion. I love that my hair can be ‘sex-tossed’ like Carry Bradshaw’s, or curled, or straightened, or a beachy nest. In Korea, one must always look like a polished 1950s housewife. I am trying to start the trend that curls and unbrushed hair can also be acceptable. My students just tell me that I forgot to do my hair that day. I sigh and say they are right for lack of the strength to communicate the aforementioned rant.

11) The Considerate Lack of Consideration

On the street, people of all ages, walk in a zigzag pattern in a monotonously languid manor. Unlike America and Europe, the right and left parts of the street or sidewalk are not designated for a certain direction (aka it is one huge cluster fuck ALL the time). Girls in heals are ubiquitous and walk slower than snails. Businessmen teeter between hugging each other and vomiting on the street side from alcohol consumption. Some just stop and stand in the middle of the sidewalk with no attempt to move to one side to allow the flow of the masses to continue. People my age walk as if they have no where to go, yet I do?! Everyone seems to lack complete awareness of others, as if there is no one behind them trying to get somewhere. This drives me nuts to no end!

12) Lack of a Social Justice Orientation

In general, most of the Korean population is self, family, and country concerned. Absolutely nothing is wrong with this; however, global awareness and plight of others, even within their own culture, is seen as something self-administered- a punishment for wrong-doing. My students, who just finished reading Oliver Twist, had to give report on perceptions of the poor before and after reading the novel. Every single student said that before reading the novel, they thought that poor people are rare and that they deserve to be poor because they must have done something terrible. Now of course they realize that there are circumstantial reasons as well as systemic structures in place that make it dreadfully unlikely that one can get out of the cycle of poverty. After picking apart their opinions, I realized that it is a major difference of world view, per usual. Koreans take care of Koreans. Families hide shameful behavior of their own family. Alcoholics, those with mental disorders, people with disabilities are not sent out to fend for themselves as many Americans are, but are instead, kept internal. Domestic abuse occurs, but women do not flee.

After traveling throughout Europe, my students commented on how unpleasant it was for them to see beggars ‘EVERYWHERE.’ I asked them how uncomfortable it must be for the beggar? They had literally never thought of that. I also explained the vast issue of hunger in USA and their minds almost blew to pieces in front of me. This type of critical thinking about society and the interconnectedness of the global entities, corporations included is not isolated to teenagers… it appears to be quite pervasive.

13) Potential End of an Era

Two weeks ago, Chris and I suffered a major fissure of trust in our relationship. Despair and darkness raged in me as I tried to put pieces together from the last five years to figure out what was true and tragically what was just an illusion. Despite having the best year of my life and our relationship, foundational problems continued to exist: in me, investment into Chris’s hobbies, a critical air, and openness during stressful times. In him, a crisis of identity- fruition of masculinity, a defeatist attitude, resistance to fulfill potential for the fear of failure, and most importantly a lack of a ‘unit’ mentality, substituted with passivity.

Chris desperately wants to stay together. I have my days where I do and other days where I don’t; however, I am not just going to walk away. An investment of this magnitude combined with the raw truth that he is my best companion with complementary characteristics cannot be discarded. Tentatively, we are attempting to heal and rebuild. I have appreciated the love and support from both sets of friends and family- abroad and in the USA. It has been particularly moving for me to see the outpouring of concern because I have had the fortune of surrounding myself with a community of people who I find imperative in the extension of my own identity, and a collective stanchion. You have all reflected the qualities that I hope to project in this world. Please continue to send your positive energy to us. The result, if you can ever have one in a relationship, is thus a cliffhanger for all involved, including myself…

Seoul Prancing with Laura Continued…

Wednesday December 25

Merry Christmas!!

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The air was a crisp 20 degrees Fahrenheit on Christmas morning. I woke up around 10 am to call my grandmother who always hosts the best shindig around on Christmas eve. After my family chat, Laura and I headed to my favorite brunch place in all of Seoul- Flying Pan. This Euro-American fusion restaurant has a quaint, schmoozy atmosphere right in the heart of Korean Wall-street. French music softly murmured in the background as we gazed upon the ice rink festivities taking place just beyond the glass in front of us. The food was scrumptious, the chai tea aromatic, and the company, superb. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to start this holiday away from home. We took our time enjoying the ambiance and latte as we discussed the bests and worsts of 2013.

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While in the Gangnam (Wall-street) area, we decided to go to a popular sticker photo shop, which had a line out the door. Sticker photos are photo booth pictures with the all alluring option of crazy, fun, unique editing additions. Christmas is a couple’s holiday in Korea, so many swooning lovers awaited the chance to get their holiday snap shots, along with a couple friend pairs like Laura and me.

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No one at the store spoke English and I couldn’t read the signs explaining the process. Apparently there is a two step method to this madness: 1) People go into the initial booth to have photos taken. 2) People move to the second booth to edit, decorate, purchase, and print photos. Laura and I were just waiting, people watching, and planning to imitate what everyone else did. The line was getting long, and per usual, I was getting a bit impatient after about 30 minutes of waiting with almost no progression in the line.  I saw a booth open up and thought… let’s be awful, typical, selfish American foreigners and cut in line.

When we entered the booth, we stared at a screen of color and cuteness explosion. I couldn’t read any of the directions so we just kept pressing buttons while getting ready for our photo op. We were hot in our winter gear and wanted to look our best, so we disrobed in the booth, Laura all the way down to her tank top. I was applying makeup and the both of us were curious about where the camera was. Every time we pressed a wrong button, an error bell would ring. People around us were getting shifty and probably curious as to why there were so many blunder beeps coming from our direction.

All of a sudden, the curtain was torridly torn back to reveal two horrified Korean teenage girls looking at us like we were either mean or stupid.

“My pictures!!!?!?” one girl exclaimed on the verge of tears.

Laura and I all too quickly realized that we had ‘cut in line’ to the second step of the process… the editing booth, of someone else’s pictures! Frantically, we tried to appologize. We attempted again and again to make the screen return to the beginning, but alas we had embarrassingly caused permanent damage.

Finally, I just yelled, “Grab your stuff. Run!”

We darted out of the store, through the impatient crowd, and into the frigid air to escape the shame of our Christmas misdeed. We couldn’t help giggling as we redressed ourselves in a store about a block away. After our trauma, we spent a few hours shopping and then rested at a coffee shop until we met up with Chris, John, Jesse, and Ellie for dinner at Chez Maak, one of my favorite trendy hip spots for makgeoli and pa jung (savory potato pancakes). Chris also surprised us with a pumpkin pie!

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We rushed away from dinner so that we could make it to our movie- The Hobbit. Our tickets were pre-ordered, printed, and we were ready with popcorn in hand. Or at least that is what we all thought. The minor dilemma occurred when Chris mishandled the box and scattered popcorn everywhere.

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The major dilemma came at the realization that our tickets were for an hour before I thought. We had accidentally come right in the middle of the movie. The movie clerks refused to refund our tickets, or even to set them for another time. I asked to speak to a manager to no avail. So much for holiday spirit?! I think this was our karma for destroying those innocent girls’ photos. Finally, John coughed up the extra money so that we could all go to a later showing. Meanwhile, we had already purchased our popcorn and drinks, so we sat in the lobby eating. Womp Womp (sound of disappointment).

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There was an hour and a half to kill before the next showing, so we headed to the Rainbow lounge to smoke hookah. Hookah is flavored tobacco. The environment was trippy to say the least.

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The movie was great, but poor Jesse fell asleep! We wound up leaving the theatre at 2:30 am, caught a cab, and headed home for peaceful slumber. Overall, not a bad Christmas away from home, but I can assure you that it still did not feel like Christmas.

Thursday December 26

As Laura walked the 5-minute commute to my apartment from her hotel, she was doused with a sheet of icy rain. She looked like a desperate wet cat by the time she reached my door. This was our first bought of bad weather during our entire trip thus far so I couldn’t complain, but we did have to do some emergency rescheduling with the crew. Instead of spending the whole day outside as planned, Laura and I camped out in my room, ordered pizza and watched Sex & the City while I tried to make sense of the chaos that had become my dwelling. Later in the afternoon, Laura and I met up with Jesse and Ellie at the Hello Kitty Cafe in Hongdae. The cuteness gets me every time. I just love this place! The food is terrible though- think croque-monsieur with pre-packaged mystery pork meat and American plastic cheese slices. Don’t get the food- only the delightful deserts and coffee.

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After the warming latte, Laura and I headed to the Trick Eye Museum and to the seasonal Ice Museum attached. The reason I love the Trick Eye Museum so much is that it changes the optical illusions every 6 months or so, so one can go back many times, depending on how long one visits or lives in Seoul, to have more fun clicking wacky images!

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Friday December 27

Our last day in Seoul together was a frosty one. Although the sun shown bright, the brusque air cut uncovered extremities like a knife with harsh winds. This was not our ideal weather, but we made do. Unfortunately, but hilariously, the theme of our last day was ‘underwhelming experiences.’ The weather was the first indicator of this. The second was our trip to the Namsangol Hanok Village for their ice carving festival. When one thinks festival, usually one imagines crowds of people, bustling activities, a variety of street food, and an air of grandness. Upon arrival, we discovered that the ice sculptures took up only a tiny space the size of a gas station convenience store. The place was nearly deserted and the ice sculpture area was roped off so there was no interaction with the art allowed. Womp Womp.

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The highlight of the day was enjoying some Kalguksu lunch in Myeongdong! So delicious and the best kimchi around!

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The next item on the agenda was Namsan Tower, the tallest point in all of Seoul. First we had to hike up a daunting hill in the bitter cold and then take a charming cable car up the rest of the distance. The views were as spectacular as they get in Seoul. I was admittedly a little disappointed by the lack of clarity due to smog, but honestly, there would never have been a perfect day because of the constant pollution harming Seoul, coming directly from China. Womp Womp.

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Namsan Tower has a famous tradition where couples, friends, and companions of any kind, bolt their love up on the tower figuratively and literally. Laura and I decided not to do it, mostly because we didn’t want to spend the money on the equipment. I intend to return with my lover bear Chris before he leaves in March to leave our lasting lock of love. My dream is to return 10 years later to find our rusty trusty lock still there dangling amidst all the other shared moments of affection.

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We were all lucky enough to witness a traditional performance while there.

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Our intention for the evening was to witness a Christmas Lights festival in the far Eastern suburbs of the city. Worried that we may exact the same fate as our previous ‘festival’ of the day combined with our blatant unwillingness to bare the brunt of the weather (even to shop!!), we altered our plans. Instead, we returned down the mountain and passed a couple hours chatting and downloading kitty emoticons at a local coffee shop awaiting performance time. We also snacked on some spiral potatoes! Yummy- my favorite!

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There are a dozen or so longstanding performances in Seoul that are popular with tourists and locals alike. My mother, Chris, Carly and I had attended Nanta when my mom visited in May. The show was a fusion of cooking, dancing, and traditional drumming. It had been a spectacular performance, one in which Chris was even invited on stage to perform in! Because I had already been to Nanta, Laura and I were deciding between a traditional Korean performance, Miso, and a show entitled Ballerina Falls in Love with a B-Boy. We opted for the later only because I had heard rave reviews from two of my friends at work. This was by far the worst decision of the day.

The ‘dance’ or ‘play’ was performed by a rag tag crew of adolescents on a tiny stage in a back alley theatre. The talent was slim to nil, despite obvious athleticism. Most of the performers seemed to lack any real ability to move or sense the rhythm of the music, appearing to flail their arms about to distract from their motionless cacophony of body cores and legs. The break dancing techniques were all ones completely over seen on youtube, and the ballerinas (not featured in the pics) appeared to be wearing their grandmother’s clothes.

The entire show was a hysterical horror. What made it even funnier is that we were the only Americans amongst a cadre of Japanese high schoolers who were enthralled with the muscular boys on stage. They literally flooded the stage after the finale. Each scene was uncreative, poorly acted, and performed with a shamefully embarrassing amount of braggadocios pride. I am 100% sure that my 20+ nieces and nephews (half of whom I have never even met) could have put on a better show. Womp Womp.

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Despite a disappointing end to a day filled with lackluster events, the company was terrific. John, Jesse, and Ellie are fantastic friends. The true disappointment came from my expectations not aligning with the outcomes and my subconscious preparation for saying ‘goodbye,’ which I was dreading like none other.

I can’t speak for Laura, but I think she had a marvelous vacation. I appreciated all of her observations while here. She liked the ease and efficiency of public transportation, the endless array of foods, events and activities to do in the big city, and she liked the mix of the ancient history with modernity. She did not appreciate the high amount of drinking in the culture, especially the drunken, horny, entitled business men. She also hated the second class citizenship of women. She felt that while kind and intelligent, many Koreans seemed to lack individual expression and creativity.

In the large expanse of the city, Laura commented on how safe she felt and expressed concern over the future of America after witnessing the advanced level of my students, mind you, while operating in their second language.  Many of my 13 year old students are discussing college level topics in English Tuesday and Thursday at academy, while advancing rapidly through their Calculus material on Fridays. Laura said she felt that her travels through Seoul had a sound track. She noticed the bells, bings, bongs, gongs, rings, tings, and songs of all of the city noises- from the elevator voice to the song of the approaching Subway, the doorbell to the restaurant service bell, and the clicking crosswalk to the beeping motion sensors.

Overall, the 3 weeks spent with my best friend cultivated memories and trust with and in one another that will last a lifetime. I feel so truly blessed not only to have a friend who is willing to invest so much time and money to come visit me, but also one who is an amazing travel companion- open to try any new activity or food, can balance the exhibits with outdoors, and is compassionately understanding. Three countries down together (Aruba, Vietnam, & Korea)! How many more to come? Only time will tell.

Saturday December 28

On Saturday morning, I walked Laura to her bus stop around 6 am. I  knew that once I said goodbye, I would be terribly depressed and lonely, but also relieved to be able to take a hand full of sleeping pills and carelessly collapse into my long lost bed. I only had two days to recuperate before the onset of a horrendous month-long winter schedule at my work. I think this little girl below was only half as exhausted as I was! The whole experience was well worth it. I ended the week  in a deep slumber accompanied by sweet dreams of us prancing around the world together to other mysteriously exotic lands.

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